53 Days

There is a maximum of 53 days until we meet our little man. Hopefully I'll get the C-Section scheduled at my next appointment, but there's still a set timeline.
It's weird, with Ducky, I just assumed there was so much more time to go. Sure I'd been on modified bed rest for months and out of work for a little longer than that, but I was still eagerly awaiting her arrival.

This time, I'm more nervous. I feel like nothing is ready. We have a box of Ducky's clothes that can pass as gender neutral ready to go, but I realized that we're going to have no idea what size he'll wear, or how long it will be before we get to take him home and he can wear clothes. Right now, at 30.5 weeks, his torso is measuring 40 weeks because the tumor is so big. I think it's safe to say the 2 preemie outfits I got for $1 each won't fit. I'm thinking I'll just bring one of each size NB, 0-3, and 3-6 and see what fits when the time comes. We haven't washed the pack-n-play from after we transitioned Ducky to her floor bed. We do have a new Momaroo, since our old swing broke, but who knows how long it will be before he'll get to use either of those.

When Ducky was born, I only got to hold her for a few minutes before they took her away to the NICU, she needed to be on a CPAP machine for a while, so Hubbs went with her. This time, with the C-Section, and his health troubles, we might not get to hold him for hours. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the lumpiness and know that he's not going to look like every other baby. You know that "typical baby" look they all have. At least I can be sure there won't be any accidental switcheroos at the hospital. I'm sure that once we meet with his team of Doctors, we'll have some answers, and of course I'll come up with more questions and worries.

I just want to keep his diagnosis as much of a secret as possible for a while. Yes, we are incredibly excited to have another baby. Yes, we're a little scared and uncertain what the future holds for him, but we want everyone to be just as excited and love him as much as we will.