Sunday, July 3, 2016

Checking In and Holy Crap

Lately it's seemed like I only ever check in and post when something big happens. I apologize for that, I always make excuses about general life, work, etc getting in the way of blogging, but I need to be better. No matter how tired, late, boring I think I am, I will take the time to post at least once a week. I'm making solid promises here readers.

My promotion at work has kept me insanely busy, there never seem to be enough hours in the day. I work almost 10 hours a day and still don't finish all of the tasks required for the day. Management has completely overloaded the three of us that hold my position and show no signs of trying to rectify it by promoting or hiring new people.

Hubbs, Ducky, and I are all doing well. We're busy but happy and Ducky awes and amazes us every day. She's so clever and hilarious, she sings like an angel (according to Hubbs), and loves to play cook in her little Ikea kitchen. Hubbs and I have been sticking to our diet for about 3 weeks now. 2 weeks in I was down 14lbs. The 3 week weigh-in is Tuesday, but I don't think I'll see much of a shift in the numbers this week.

In other news, there is the tiniest, smallest, minuscule possibility that I am pregnant again. I used OPKs this cycle and got a positive about a week later than I was expecting. Here we are 13 days later and my internet cheapies are showing the faintest hint of a line.

The bottom one is from last night, the top one from this morning. Do you see it? Am I insane? The ClearBlue digital was a BFN, but those are less reliable for early testing anyway. I am cautiously optimistic and will keep peeing in those obnoxiously tiny cups for a few more days until the line gets less imaginary and more definitive. A few people on a forum said they see it, but I'm refusing to believe it.

Even if in a few days, I get a positive, I'm not sure I want to tell Hubbs until I'm sure it's for real. With everything that happened with Lumpy and our MMC in January, I just don't want to get his hopes up. Heck, I don't want to get my hopes up. I feel like we've both developed a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from that pain. The MMC sucked, but it was so much easier to take than when we lost Lumpy. I told myself that if I ever got pregnant again it would be the last one no matter what the outcome because I didn't want to go through it all over again. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

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