Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Lacking Motivation

I find it hard lately to motivate myself to do stuff. I've got this book that I've been working on since last November and I keep telling myself that I should finish writing it, but I don't.
All of the baby stuff is still packed and I have absolutely no idea how or where we're going to fit it all into our tiny apartment.
Maybe I should just relish in the small victories. I emptied and loaded the dishwasher. I cleaned the bathroom sink that has been dirty and bugging me for weeks. That counts, right?
Staying at home all day every day, now that Hubbs has to use my car since his is broken, I don't really have anything to do. I could clean up a bit, unpack the stuff that still needs unpacking, but I've been saying I was going to do that since we moved in here in August and obviously, we've done just fine without whatever is in those boxes. 
Tomorrow will be a busy day since I'll actually have the car. I have to get the car safety/emissions tested and renew our registration, buy some groceries, get a flu shot, go to the library, and swing by my Dr's office so they can copy my medicaid card.  Overall, I think it will be the most productive day I've had since getting laid off a month and a half ago.

I've been trying to figure out and guess how huge my belly is going to get from here on out. I'll hit the 3rd trimester in a week and a half, and it's all downhill from there. Considering how big this baby is going to get, I can only imagine my belly will be just as obnoxiously huge. It's seriously hard to find pictures of larger pregnant women on the interwebz, but from what I have seen, yea, my belly is going to get very big. Luckily, the scale has just started creeping back up now that Ducky has some heft to her, so by the end of this, I should still weigh less than when I got pregnant. Hurray for that.

As it becomes more and more obvious that my due date is definitely more of a guideline, and we're probably not going to make it that far, makes me think I should have done more by now. Are there parenting classes I should have signed up for? I start the breastfeeding one next month, but what about the other one? The one where they teach you important things, like how to keep your baby alive and change diapers and such. I definitely need that one. I still don't understand the concept of picking up/putting down a baby that can't hold up its own head. The logistics are confusing to me.

When do I need to pre-register at the hospital? Do I really need a birth plan? I'm thinking about going in and just seeing how bad the whole labor thing is, and then if it's terrible, asking for the sweet sweet drugs. I don't think I want an epidural though, because for the most part, local anesthetics take FOR-EV-ER to work on me. One of the other downsides of being built like a linebacker. Maybe I'll just have to suffer through the whole thing or maybe I'll get lucky and it won't be that long. This is one of those times where it would be really nice to know if I was late or early, or if I was a C-section or regular. Sometimes being adopted blows. My sister-in-law knows that her labors are ridiculously fast, so that's handy. The other one takes a bit longer because her babies' heads are always huge. No idea what is going to happen with me. Not at all. I'm pretty sure if when I'm in early labor and they try to send me home, I'll just plop in the waiting room and say "I have no idea how quick or slow this is going to go, so I'm staying right here." There's really no way to plan for everything, so perhaps I'll just go with the flow like I always do. Sure, it's nice to have a plan, but flexibility is important. I'd probably just get more annoyed because I wasn't following the plan I'd spent so much time thinking about.

Ugh, I am so unprepared. 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Ginormous Gigantor Baby

I had my last ultrasound for the New Mom Study that I'm in the other day. It turns out little Ducky isn't going to be all that little. I knew we would have a big baby, since I was 24in long when I was born, and Hubbs weighted 10lbs 6oz, so I guess it feels good to be right. At the moment she's measuring about 2 weeks ahead for height and weight. Luckily it looks like she'll have a normal-sized noggin though, she'll just be super tall.

She's been kicking up a storm. I definitely didn't realize how far up in my belly she'd gotten, until I noticed her kicking my ribs. I'm not sure if it's because I slouch when I sit or just because she's that darn big. Hubbs felt her kick last night, which I was excited about. It's nice that he can have that little connection with her, even if it's only every once in a while. She never seems to want to kick when we want her to.

She's definitely going to be stubborn, just like me. They tried to do a 3D scan at the ultrasound, but she refused to move her arm from near her face. She was wiggling it, kind of like she was trying to cover up as much of her face as possible. I know she doesn't have that mental capacity yet, but it sure seemed like it. lol.

I'm starting to get a bit more confident that she's definitely going to come earlier than anticipated, whether naturally or if they decide to induce me because they're worried she's going to be a big chunker. The midwife from a while ago is still very confident that I can pop out a 9 pounder no problem. Hurray for being built like a linebacker and having a cavernous pelvis apparently.

Here's the first pic we have of her looking less creepy skeletony and more like an actual baby.

Monday, November 11, 2013


Veteran's Day

Today I remember my maternal grandfather who served in World War 1 (yes, he is that old), My paternal grandfather who served in World War 2, My dad and uncle who served in Vietnam, all of my friends who have served over the years, and fear for Hubbs, who plans on joining the military in the upcoming year. I'm thankful to all of those who choose to serve and do their part to stand up for what they believe in.


I have been supremely lazy lately. When it comes to cooking dinner, I just don't want to bother. I made a crock pot ham yesterday and roasted some carrots. Hubbs had the nerve to complain that I didn't make enough side dishes. I told him if he wanted more food for dinner, then he should cook it himself. I'm just not that hungry anymore, and half the foods I used to like, I can't stand eating. I'm not going to cook this huge dinner and watch all of the leftovers go to waste, like they inevitably do.


Naps are my new best friend. I just feel so wiped out and drained all the time. I thought this was supposed to go away in the 2nd trimester, but here I am, rounding the 3rd, and there's no end in sight.


My heart has been acting a little wonky lately. Occasionally, my heartbeat will get irregular, skipping a beat or two every few seconds. When it happens, I definitely feel weird and can feel it beating in my chest. Sometimes it also slows down a lot. I usually run around 100bpm, but it drops down significantly randomly. I know it's one of those things that can happen in pregnancy, but I'm going to go ahead and call the Dr anyway just in case. It seems like one of those things where it can't hurt to check and make sure everything is alright.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Hello November

Last November was hectic, I had just lost my contract job and started substitute teaching. I participated in, and finished, NaNoWriMo, and I think at that point, we had given up the hope of having kids.

Things are definitely different now. Despite the daily boredom, I think getting laid off when 5 months pregnant was really the best thing to happen to me. I lost the sub-par yet expensive insurance that hardly covered any of my Dr's visits. Towards the end, when there simply wasn't enough work for everyone, I was only raking in about $100 a week. Granted, we feel the loss of that a bit come the end of the month when car insurance, car payment, and rent are due... but things are overall better now. I'm less stressed, I don't have to take time off work for Dr's appointments, and I can hang out at home with my emotional support animal and get ready to bring our daughter into the world.

We've almost gotten everything we need for the baby, at least, I hope so. There's still a lot of stuff on our registry that only one person in my family has gotten something for us from, but we have the bare essentials. I look at the boxes with the stroller, the crib, the bassinet full of diapers and blankets, and I think, "Hey, maybe we'll be ok."

I did wind up making gender reveal cake ball ice cream cones, with pics as promised, for the baby shower. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, since this is essentially the lazy way to make cake balls.

Transporting them was a bit of a pain, but it worked out pretty well. They were a big hit.

Had the 24 week check-up yesterday. Ducky's heart rate is good, weight, BP, everything looking alright. When I first get in, my BP is a little high, but once I sit for a minute, it drops back to normal. It still feels like I'm being stabbed in the vag every once in a while, but apparently everything is fine. So that's good.

It's so baffling to me that in 3 weeks is Thanksgiving. We're heading to Vegas to hang out with my side of the family. My parents are still planning on visiting us when little Ducky decides to make her grand entrance into the world, but it will be nice to see everyone else too. Just a short week after that, and we've made it to the 3rd trimester.

I know I've said this before, but seriously, how does time go by so quickly when you really want it to slow down? Before I know it, it will be February and I'll be a mom, complaining of all kind of fun things like my boobs and a general lack of sleep. Assuming we make it to February... The higher risk of preterm labor, preeclampsia, gestational diabeeeeetus. All of these things combine to make early delivery a very real possibility. Not to mention the fact that she'll likely be HUGE. I was 24 inches long when I was born, and Hubbs weighed 10lbs, 6oz. Ginormous baby is highly likely.

In the mean time, here's a pic of my 24-week fatty belly. So weird that even though my belly is bigger, I still weigh about 18lbs less than when I got pregnant. This one is a bit blurrier than the rest, oh well.