Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Lacking Motivation

I find it hard lately to motivate myself to do stuff. I've got this book that I've been working on since last November and I keep telling myself that I should finish writing it, but I don't.
All of the baby stuff is still packed and I have absolutely no idea how or where we're going to fit it all into our tiny apartment.
Maybe I should just relish in the small victories. I emptied and loaded the dishwasher. I cleaned the bathroom sink that has been dirty and bugging me for weeks. That counts, right?
Staying at home all day every day, now that Hubbs has to use my car since his is broken, I don't really have anything to do. I could clean up a bit, unpack the stuff that still needs unpacking, but I've been saying I was going to do that since we moved in here in August and obviously, we've done just fine without whatever is in those boxes. 
Tomorrow will be a busy day since I'll actually have the car. I have to get the car safety/emissions tested and renew our registration, buy some groceries, get a flu shot, go to the library, and swing by my Dr's office so they can copy my medicaid card.  Overall, I think it will be the most productive day I've had since getting laid off a month and a half ago.

I've been trying to figure out and guess how huge my belly is going to get from here on out. I'll hit the 3rd trimester in a week and a half, and it's all downhill from there. Considering how big this baby is going to get, I can only imagine my belly will be just as obnoxiously huge. It's seriously hard to find pictures of larger pregnant women on the interwebz, but from what I have seen, yea, my belly is going to get very big. Luckily, the scale has just started creeping back up now that Ducky has some heft to her, so by the end of this, I should still weigh less than when I got pregnant. Hurray for that.

As it becomes more and more obvious that my due date is definitely more of a guideline, and we're probably not going to make it that far, makes me think I should have done more by now. Are there parenting classes I should have signed up for? I start the breastfeeding one next month, but what about the other one? The one where they teach you important things, like how to keep your baby alive and change diapers and such. I definitely need that one. I still don't understand the concept of picking up/putting down a baby that can't hold up its own head. The logistics are confusing to me.

When do I need to pre-register at the hospital? Do I really need a birth plan? I'm thinking about going in and just seeing how bad the whole labor thing is, and then if it's terrible, asking for the sweet sweet drugs. I don't think I want an epidural though, because for the most part, local anesthetics take FOR-EV-ER to work on me. One of the other downsides of being built like a linebacker. Maybe I'll just have to suffer through the whole thing or maybe I'll get lucky and it won't be that long. This is one of those times where it would be really nice to know if I was late or early, or if I was a C-section or regular. Sometimes being adopted blows. My sister-in-law knows that her labors are ridiculously fast, so that's handy. The other one takes a bit longer because her babies' heads are always huge. No idea what is going to happen with me. Not at all. I'm pretty sure if when I'm in early labor and they try to send me home, I'll just plop in the waiting room and say "I have no idea how quick or slow this is going to go, so I'm staying right here." There's really no way to plan for everything, so perhaps I'll just go with the flow like I always do. Sure, it's nice to have a plan, but flexibility is important. I'd probably just get more annoyed because I wasn't following the plan I'd spent so much time thinking about.

Ugh, I am so unprepared. 

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