Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Staving Off Potential Gender Disappointment?

Hubbs had a rough day today. He didn't want to get too in to detail, probably because he'd start crying again, but he apparently had a bout of sadness about Lumpy, and possibly about the new baby as well. I know from our talks after Lumpy died, that he really wanted a son. He mourned all of the things they would do together and I know now, a large part of him wants this baby to be a boy so he doesn't miss out on those things. 

Whenever the ladies on my birth boards would talk about gender disappointment, I would silently think to myself, "wtf, just be happy you have a baby at all, you ungrateful wench". I never understood it. I'm excited for this baby no matter what genitals it happens to have. I guess I didn't really think about the possibility of Hubbs having gender disappointment. We're so early in this pregnancy and have a long way to go before we can find out what it is, but now I'm wondering if we should be team green. If we wait till birth, Hubbs will be so thrilled that there is a baby, that he'll forget to be sad if it doesn't have a penis.

Perhaps it would be better to know early and that way he can mentally prepare himself for another girl? I don't want him to feel like I'm trivializing his feelings... but come on, at least we get to have another baby! Why should it matter what sex is it? I don't get it. If it's not a boy it's his fault anyway, he should have had a long chat with his sperm and only pep talked the boy ones. Hopefully we can talk it over and make him feel better about everything.  

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Christmas Stockings

Last year, we announced our pregnancy just after Thanksgiving with a little Christmas Stocking photo. It's a little weird this year knowing there really should be 5 stockings hanging up instead of 4. (Yes, the dog gets his own stocking too, obviously for when Santa Paws comes, duh). If all goes swimmingly, next year again there will be 5.

We also had the stunning realization that I will have been pregnant in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016. Holy hell. Making babies takes a lot of time! Hubbs and I are both really excited for this last baby adventure and while there are the typical pregnancy nerves, we are optimistic and hopeful.

I still have about 3 weeks before my first OB visit. Interestingly, my symptoms have been completely different from the first 2 so far. I'm not sure if it's because this is my first pregnancy after my c-section or what, but more lower back pain and less round ligament pain. I had terrible headaches the first few weeks with 1 and 2, but not this time so far. There's still plenty of time for awful symptoms to pop up, I think I'll try to enjoy the peace and quiet for now though.

Merry Christmas! If you don't celebrate Christmas, I don't give a hoot, have a Happy, Joyous, Merry, whatever adjective Christmas Day anyway, don't be a dick!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Definitely Pregnant

Digitals make everything so nice and clear, no squinters here!

I couldn't sleep, so I got up and prepped Hubbs' Christmas Eve Eve present. Now I wait for him to get home from work. I feel so sneaky!

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

It's a Christmas Rainbow!!

Sure today was snowy, and rainy, and cloudy, and gross, but there's a rainbow on the horizon!!

It's faint, but it's there, and as any ttc pro can tell you, a line is a line! It was in the middle of the day only after about a 3 hour hold. Yes, that is a bathroom stall at my work because I just couldn't wait any longer and bought a test on my lunch break.

I have a sneaky plan all set up to tell Hubbs tomorrow morning after I confirm with a digital. I'm going to slip the test and a 0-3 month sized batman onesie I picked up today in here.

It says To: Daddy, From: ?? Bah I'm so excited. He'll probably get home from work around 7am, so hopefully there's enough time to poas and drop it in there to hand to him and say something all causal like "Santa dropped this off for you". 

It was all very confusing because I had some spotting very briefly yesterday, but it must have just been some leftover implantation spotting or something. I kept feeling like AF was coming, but I'd had this sneaking suspicion for weeks now that I just might be pregnant. I've got skills.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Checking In

Wow, I really sucked at blogging for the last two months. I'd like to say that it's because exciting and magical things are happening, but that is not the case. I think it's a combination of being too busy, lazy, and overall blah to do any blogging.

My life is boring at the moment. Work is the same, although in October, I secured myself a monthly performance-based bonus, then starting this month, I also scored a little hourly bump as well, so that was nice. It definitely makes you feel appreciated and important when co-workers complain to management that they need a raise and are handed a print-out of job listings... yes, that happened.

Ducky is doing amazingly well. She says so many words and almost full sentences. She loves coloring and painting and all things art. She is very demanding about pre-bedtime cuddles and gets more opinionated and yet adorable every day.

Hubbs started a new job, it's night shift, and long hours, so I only see him for a few minutes before I go to work, when he gets home to go to bed. We do usually have time to have dinner together as a family though before he heads out, so that's nice. He wanted to complain about the hours, but getting a paycheck for one week's work that is the equivalent of mine for 2 weeks makes it worth it in his eyes.

I was going to go back to school, but there's a small snafu with my grant and I'm not sure that's going to happen anymore. I'm registered for classes, they start in about 2 weeks, but the powers that be are still deciding. Hopefully I should hear by next week.

Now that it's been the medically recommended time-frame, we are TTC again. It's surprisingly difficult timing things appropriately when you don't see each other that often. Coming up on CD 30 now. Somewhere in the next 2-5 days AF will probably show up and shatter my dreams until next cycle when we start all over again. I haven't been temping regularly, but will try to be more diligent. I'd forgotten how frustrating everything was. Trying to guess when the big O happens and was that twinge possibly something good? My cycles and everything definitely seem different from having my C-Section. I'm not sure if that's common or not, but things definitely seem out of whack. It'll take a few more months I'm sure before I know what's normal and what's not.