Tuesday, October 29, 2013


On my birthday, at dinner, Hubbs was adorable. We were eating our delicious burgers, and as he's lifting the burgery goodness to his mouth, he stops, puts it down, and cocks his head at me. I asked "What?", he said "I was just noticing how good you look right now." and I melted into a puddle of love goo. It was so sweet and kind, especially considering that I wasn't wearing any makeup and pretty much looked like crap.

My first attempt at cake balls was apparently a success. I still haven't tried one, but Hubbs has devoured most of them. I took leftover costco cake and mushed it up, and covered them in melted semi-sweet chocolate chips. It makes me feel a little more confident when it comes to the ones I'm making for the baby shower on Friday.

Speaking of which, I'm excited to reveal the baby's gender to our family at the shower. It's been fun having this little secret, especially since everyone else is dying to know. Gender reveal ice cream cone cake balls for the win! Perhaps I'll even post pics, because why not?

Hubbs' parents get into town tonight, so this is the last "normal" day for the week. Tomorrow is a family thing at night, Thursday is Halloween and we're all going trick-or-treating as a family. Friday is the baby shower, and Saturday is another huge family function followed by dinner with everyone. It's definitely going to be a trying week. They're so nice, I just get so tired socializing with them. I explained to Hubbs, that yes, I know they love me, and they're nice people, it just makes me feel kind of broken because I don't feel capable of loving them back. Knowing how to love parents really isn't my thing.

I have been feeling the baby kick, which is nice, but she can't quite kick hard enough to feel it from the outside. Apparently this could be because my placenta is in the front, which makes it more difficult to feel. Hopefully Hubbs will get to feel her kicks soon. It would be nice to be able to share that with him.

Even though the baby is kicking now, and I feel her every day... it still doesn't feel real. Like I keep waiting for the part where I wake up and find out it was all a dream. Maybe it won't feel real until I'm holding her in my arms. Perhaps even then I won't be able to believe that she's really all ours. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I am still super annoyed that no one has bought anything off of the registry. Not a single thing. The baby shower is in 3 days, I'd like to believe everyone is just saving it for the last minute, but we registered at amazon... shipping takes time! lol. Half of the fun of a shower is getting showered with gifts so you're actually prepared for the baby. Right? That's half of the fun of a wedding anyway. lol. Here's to hoping it's all fine.

Funny story, Saturday was my birthday, and as we were getting our banana splits at sonic, the car broke down. We couldn't get it to start and had to push it out of the stall and into the parking lot to get a jump, which didn't work. A tow guy came and was actually able to start it, but said either the battery or alternator was shot. We drove it to the car repair place and parked it for the weekend until they opened on Monday. Monday, we went to pick up the car and took it to Auto Zone, where the tested the battery. We needed a new one, so bought it and Hubbs actually managed to install it. Pretty impressive considering he'd never done it before. The car still wouldn't start though. The guys from the store patched it up and replaced the connector thing, and the car came back to life. As we were getting ready to leave, Hubbs' car wouldn't start. Turns out, he too needed a new battery. Two brand new car batteries and $200 later, we had two running cars. It could have been worse, but seriously, we did not need that added expense considering rent is due in a few days and Hubbs' job only lasts for another 3 weeks.

Today is my brother's birthday. We're 10 years apart and I came home from the hospital on his birthday after I was born. It's pretty fun. We've always celebrated our birthdays together, granted, we don't live in the same state anymore, but it's a fond memory. We're not exactly "close", I mean, I don't tell him everything, but I know that he will always be there for me and supports me. Whenever I had something bad I had to tell my parents, I'd always tell him first and he would work with me to figure out how to tell them. I guess it helps that he's my lawyer. lol. Lawyer/client privilege is so awesome for situations like that. I'm pretty sure he'll be an awesome uncle too. 

Saturday, October 26, 2013


Here I am, another year older and as I reflect on my life so far, I'd say things worked out pretty well. I'm not where I thought I would be by this point in my life, but I'm close. I've got a wonderful husband and a daughter on the way. Over the course of my life I've definitely made some mistakes, but all of those helped shape me into the person I am today, and I like me. I have the perk of still looking quite young, so sometimes, I get mistaken for a 19-year-old, and that's certainly not a problem. It does get amusing when I get carded at rated R movies. I'm like... "you seriously think I'm under 17?!?!" and then I giggle and hand over my ID.

Sure I still haven't landed an actual career, and I'm even considering going back to school, yet again, after Ducky is born. I think it's a good thing though, that I'm not afraid of change, that I welcome it, and never fear starting over. Sometimes, when things don't work out, you've just gotta jump on in and try something else.

Hubbs and I don't have many plans for today. He's working most of the day, but we are going to have dinner at Red Robin and possibly check out a movie after. I'm not sure though if I want to see Insidious 2 or Despicable Me 2. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE horror movies, Hubbs is kind of a wuss about them, so usually, the only way I can convince him to go is if it's for my birthday.

Gibbs had a rough day at the vet yesterday, he had his comprehensive and dental work done. Poor little groggy guy. They did find that he has the start of tracheal collapse, which is not going to get fun as he ages, but hopefully he'll be fine and it won't get to the point where he would need surgery. His bouts of it are few and far between for the time being and let's hope it stays that way.

The baby shower is on Friday. I'm very annoyed that practically NO ONE has RSVP'd or bought anything off of the registry yet. I scheduled it early so it wouldn't interfere with the holidays, and also because Hubbs' family will be in town anyway for another family event. Maybe people are waiting till later in the pregnancy to buy stuff? But there is no excuse for missing an RSVP deadline. lol. If there's not enough food, no one better complain to me. Mostly because I'm not actually the host, my sister-in-laws are throwing it for me... but still. Another annoying thing, is that the other family event is Saturday morning. I thought it would be more convenient to have the baby shower Saturday afternoon or evening since everyone would be in town anyway. My eldest sister-in-law (who's daughter's event is that morning) said it would be rude to "share" the day. I think it's more rude to make people drive two hours to a family function two days in a row, but that's just me. Maybe they'll just bring gifts the next day and I'll get out of socializing for a few hours. Perhaps she's doing me a favor, really. I find spending time with Hubbs' family very exhausting. There are just so many of them. I come from a family of four and we rarely saw our cousins and uncles all at the same time. Hubbs is one of six kids, and his parents are each one of six kids, and a lot of his cousins, aunts, uncles, etc, all live in the same state. It makes for HUGE family get-togethers. 

I'm trying to figure out how we are going to set up the baby's crib (which let's face it, will just be a pack-n-play). We live in a 600 sq. ft. apartment, and there's really no room for anything. I'm thinking we'll put it in the living room, and that way, whoever's turn it is can nap on the couch, while the other person tries to get a decent few hours of sleep in our bedroom. I'm not sure how well this plan will work out, but that's half of the fun, right?

I think I'm going to treat myself to brunch at Cracker Barrel, because I've been craving it all week and it's just ridiculously delicious. Happy Birthday to me!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Baby Name

Hubbs and I have had a girl's name picked out for years. Pretty much ever since we got married. We both love it and the only way we're not gonna name her that, is if she pops out looking more like the back-up name instead.
It's definitely not a common name, and while it's not spelled weird and doesn't have a high risk of mispronunciation, the inspiration for the name does come from a video game. Some internet forums are like, "oh, don't choose that name, your kid will get bullied." Are these people stupid? Your kid can get bullied for any number of things, glasses, being tall, being smart, being stupid, liking green, thinking star wars is cool, etc. Kids can come up with terrible nicknames for any name, it's an evil, magical gift that leads to endless teasing.You have to teach your kid not to stand for that crap. Also, I'm pretty sure kids in elementary school by then are going to have no idea what the video game is. If they do, their parents are doing a terrible job raising them. Besides, the name is badass and I really doubt it will lead to bullying, I'm more worried about the fact that she's pretty much guaranteed to be over 5'10", which sucked for me growing up.
So f*ck it, we're naming our kid the name that we love. There are plenty of nickname options if she grows up to hate it. I can pretty much guarantee there will never be someone with the same name in her class. I think that's awesome. Growing up there were a million of me's in my classes and it pissed me off. It also pissed off all of the Jen's and Jessica's and everyone else with a super common name.
The best part, or what we think is the best part, is that when combined with her middle name, we get a cute "car" nickname. It's Hubbs' favorite car in the whole wide world, and we think it's cute.
It would be too easy for me to share the name, I don't want to jinx it, so we're going to wait till she's born to reveal it, but we are very glad to finally be finished with the name game.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Week 21 Wrap-Up

Had the anatomy ultrasound. All of ducky's organs are properly formed and in the right place, so that's awesome. Everything looked good and she's measuring right on schedule, so hurray for that!

Got laid off from my job that had promised me more hours and a promotion 2 weeks ago if I stayed instead of taking an offer at a different company for more money. The new job would have let me work from home as well, so that would have been nice. So now I'm 5 months pregnant, unemployed, and really not sure how I'm going to snag another job then go on maternity leave in 4 short months.

Friday night was fun, we went up to the city and splurged on an awesome dinner with the gift cards my brother and his wife had gotten us. We had the special, which started off with a wedge salad, and an entree of a bacon-wrapped filet mignon and crab-stuffed shrimp. We topped it all off with the best molten chocolate lava cake I've ever had.
Afterwards, we stopped in for a quick visit with Hubbs' grandparents, they're excited to have yet another great-grandbaby on the way and are always a joy to see. I haven't have a grandparent of my own since middle school, so it's nice to get the chance to have some now.

We lounged around most of the day and in the evening went out to our favorite Chinese buffet with Hubbs' other sister and her family. It was fun, we hammered out the rest of the baby shower details and had some delicious food.

Hubbs will be watching football all day, and I've been playing World of Warcraft since about 7:30 this morning. Overall, I think that's the perfect way to end the week. lol.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Hubbs' Birthday

Today is Hubbs' Birthday. I get to enjoy a short 2.5 weeks where we're the same age. lol.
I know sometimes I whine about him, but seriously, Hubbs is pretty great.

He is kind, loving, hilarious, handsome, great at laundry, supportive, and so much more. Sometimes his depression rears its ugly head and rains on him for a day or two, but there are far more good days than bad.

His current worry is that he's going to be a terrible father. I already know this isn't true. Not only did he babysit our 3 nieces and nephew for almost a year. He took care of our youngest niece like a pro. He's got the whole diaper, nap time, feeding, everything down. Even the play time stuff he's awesome with. I can see absolutely no way where he would fail at fathering. I tell him the fact that he's even worried about it means he'll be a good dad because terrible parents really don't give a hoot if they're terrible or not.

I met Hubbs at a low point in his life. He really didn't have much going on, he'd dropped out of college and was living back with his parents. Depression was really kicking his ass and there were times he wasn't sure he was going to make it. We met and he just lit up my life. I guess I made a decent impact as well. We were married less than 6 months later. We've had occasional struggles over the last 3 years, but overall, we've stuck and grown together and try to make the best of every day.

I am so lucky to have him in my life and as the father of Ducky.

Our real celebration is Friday night. We're going up to the city to use some gift cards my brother gave us. We're going to Fleming's. I haven't been there in forever, and Hubbs has never been, but it should be delicious. Yummy yummy steak. So tonight, since he has homework and internet nerd stuff to do. I'm going to fetch us some Arby's and let him do whatever he wants, because it's his day.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Eyes and Teeth

I love going to a new dentist or a new optometrist for a few reasons, but mostly because of the compliments. lol. I have naturally straight teeth and have never had or needed braces or a retainer, or anything fun. As a kid, I was super jealous because all of my friends had one or both, and I felt left out not needing them.
Going to the optometrist is fun because they don't often come across Central Heterochromia often and they get to oogle my eyeballs. My husband always forgets if my eyes are blue or green, and technically, they are both. The new eye guy said he's come across it a couple of times over the last five years.
Sorry for the giant creepy eyes staring at you. I've got the ring of green around the middle, and the blue in the rest. Apparently this means I have the genes for both. Hubbs' eyes are a blue/gray and I'm very curious to see how our kid's eyes turn out.

Those are the kinds of things I've been thinking about lately. I hope she gets my teeth, because Hubbs' are atrocious. His parents could afford braces for the first three kids, but not the last three. It'd be nice not to have to save up thousands of dollars to get Ducky's teeth fixed several years down the line.

Hubbs is hoping Ducky gets his feet though. He's got these long, gangly toes. I've got these short, chubby toes with miniscule toenails. Seriously. The few times I've gone to get a pedicure, the ladies laugh and call all of their co-workers over. Sometimes they bust out the special "detail" brush and try to paint them that way. They get painfully long if they're more than millimeter or so. When I went to get my ingrown toenails removed (on the big toe, those are the only semi-normal ones) the podiatrist was like "hmmm, never seen that before" My magical body, stumping doctors since 19-something-something.

It's fun to guess and speculate though. I know Ducky will be tall. Hubbs and I both have short genes on our sides of the family, but we're both just so obnoxiously tall. Maybe she'll trick us all and be a shorty. 

I'm built a bit like a linebacker and am very chesty. I'm sure she'll inherit those. I however have a flat-pancake kind of butt and Hubbs has more um... bootyliciousness going on back there. lol. Which one will Ducky get? Who knows?

I'm starting to get excited for that part. I really want to meet this tiny person. My only blood relative that I've known. What will she look like? What kind of person will she be? Will she be laid back, stubborn, mischievous, kind? What will she want to be when she grows up? These are the things I can't wait to find out. It'll be nice to see how much is him, how much is me, and how much is all her.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

20 Weeks

We're halfway there! It still feels pretty unreal. I'm definitely looking pregnant according to a bunch of people at this point. I think it helped that I had belly pooch to begin with. As promised, some belly pics.

     14 Weeks                                                                     20 Weeks

So fat. At least now it's a good 20% baby, lol. Anyway.

I've had some pretty terrifying nightmares over the last few days. I'm trying not to let anxiety get the better of me. I feel like things will go a lot smoother after the anatomy scan on Wednesday. If anything is wrong, we'll find out and if everything is fine, we'll be nicely reassured.
All I have to do now is wait and hope for the best, I guess. Stressing more isn't going to do great things for my blood pressure, which is already wonky and unpredictable. It's not in the danger zone or anything yet, it's just being closely monitored from visit to visit.
I haven't heard back about my glucose test yet, so I'm hoping that means everything was fine with it. Getting the dreaded diabeetus would not be ideal.

I ordered some super spiffy new glasses, which I am very excited about. My vision got a teeny bit worse, and apparently, over the course of this pregnancy, could potentially get worse or better. Very odd. I scored frames with anti-reflective lenses, a pair of polarized clip-on sunglasses to match, and shipping all for $20. LOVE IT! I got them at Zenni Optical let's see if I love them as much once they arrive.
Green plastic aviators... pimp-tastic. I'm feeling it. Seriously, so awesome.

Should I be worried that my baby shower is in 3 weeks and NO ONE has gotten anything off of our registry? Are they ignoring it? Are they just not getting us stuff? Babies need things! Lots of things! Granted, we've gotten a lot of hand-me-downs from Hubbs' eldest sister, and she has a box full of clothes for us somewhere. But no diapers, no crib, no onesies! It will be a winter baby, it will need clothes, not like those fancy summer babies that can just get away with wearing nothing but diapers all the time. I'm sure I'm worried about nothing as always. 3 weeks is plenty of time for shipping and stuff... bah, it's really not.

It is weird that I am still so reluctant to believe we're really going to have a baby? I have this defense mechanism, where I think things won't work out, so I don't get too disappointed when they don't, or I get doubly excited when they do. We've reached 20 weeks, some part of me should believe that we really will get a whole, live baby at the end of this, but the majority of me still doubts. I want everything to work out so badly, but I'm afraid of letting myself believe that it will. We're keeping the name secret because I don't want to jinx it. I don't even use her name when I talk to her, I still just call her "baby" or "Ducky". Anyone else ever have this problem? Maybe once I get to the point where she actually kicks, and I don't have those phantom, "wait, was that a kick?" moments, it will be easier to relax about everything. Here's to hoping those start soon.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Wednesday Randomness

Last night I legitimately wanted to go to bed at 8pm. I have no idea why I've been so tired lately. Heck, I'm ready for a nap right now. I managed to keep myself up till 10 reading in bed, but I'm fading fast over here.also last night, I made a funny while Hubbs and I were pillow talking. He knows I'm a Ravens fan and said "You hear that Joe Flacco threw 5 interceptions the other day?" and I replied "It's cause someone stole his mighty wings" and then we died laughing. I don't know if it was actually funny, or only funny because we were so tired, but those are the moments I love.
I went to the doctor today because I'd been having some pain near my belly button. They didn't check the baby or anything, which was kind of a bummer. I thought I felt the baby move once, but that was a few weeks ago. I've yet to feel anything definitive, hopefully soon though.
I guess I've got a bit of abdominal separation going on. There's some sort of fancy name for it. It hasn't developed into a hernia though, so that's good. Apparently I've just got to avoid any sudden movements and pay attention to any bulges that pop up in my middle. Let's hope it doesn't get to the point where I need surgery, because that sounds like it would suck.
My blood pressure was misbehaving again. When I first got to the office it was 158/88. A little later it had dropped down to 136/78. Still not great, I guess they're going to keep a closer eye on it from here on out.
The glucose test wasn't bad. That drink tasted super gross though. I had to resort back to my college days and basically chug that bad boy down. Here's to hoping I don't have to do the 3 hour one next. A work friend of mine had to and she said it was seriously awful.
I've decided that I need a pumpkin pie, like asap. We're going to buy one at Costco and seriously just work on it for the rest of the week. Pumpkin pie every day!! This is quite possibly the best idea I have ever had. I almost caved and got a pumpkin pie shake today, but it's just not the same. Cold, delicious pumpkin pie with flaky crust topped with a mountain of whipped cream. OM NOM NOM.
Hubbs' birthday is next week. I've got a nice evening planned for the 11th, but I still have no idea what to get him. He doesn't wear watches or cologne or anything. I'm lucky if he combs his hair every once in a while. Any suggestions? He's seriously just so hard to shop for!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Falling for Fall

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love when the leaves start to change and everything is blanketed in reds, oranges, and yellows. The air is crisp and clean and smells like the start of something new. Closer to Halloween, there's an electricity in the air and just fills me with a sense of comfort and a little bit of excitement. Best season ever.
October also begins "Cake Month" in my family. Well, technically, it started 2 weeks ago. Within the span of about 40 days, there's my mother-in-law's, my best friend's, my brother-in-law's, Hubbs', my niece's, my brother's, and my very own birthday. BIRTHDAYS EVERYWHERE! This year, we just decided to do one day of cake instead of 7. I think that was a wise choice.
Tomorrow I go in for my glucose test (finally), I've been seriously slacking on that. They wanted me to take it early, since I have a history of insulin resistance. I just haven't made time. I'll also be popping in for a quick check-up before my anatomy scan next week I think I'm more nervous about that than anything else.
As I quickly approach 20 weeks, I'm finally starting to feel "big". I mean, let's face it, I've been kind of fat for a while, but It's definitely feeling like at least 50% baby, and less fat. My belly has definitely never been this solid before. I think I've taken 2 bump pics since 12 weeks, maybe I'll actually post them once I take the 20 week one.
It's really starting to dawn on me that this whole pregnancy is basically half over. We've almost graduated to a real baby and not just a fetus. It makes it all seem so much more real and slightly scary.
Hubbs' friend's wife had their baby at 29 weeks, I know several other women who developed complications and had their babies between 27 and 37 weeks. I know I shouldn't worry about the things that can go wrong. I am worried that if this baby decides to pop out super early, we just won't be ready.
Hubbs' family is going to be in town at the end of the month, so we're having our shower a little early. Nov. 1st. I'll be  25-ish weeks by then and that should be fine. We've already gotten a lot of hand-me-down stuff, but no clothes yet. Babies don't need clothes, right? Just diapers and a place to sleep? I feel so unprepared. lol. I'm sure everything will be just fine.
I'm still torn about Dr's offices. The one I've been going to, I like, they have midwives and doctors which is nice. The only downside is that the hospital I would deliver at is about 20 mins away. The other office I go to is much closer and the hospital is seriously a block away. Much more convenient, especially when it is likely I'll have a fake labor scare or two. I still have time to decide, but I really just don't know at this point.

I look forward to continuing on in this journey with all of you!

For those new to the blog, welcome! I've been posting since August 2011, when I was diagnosed with PCOS. After trying lots of different things and getting referred to a specialist, looking into adoption, etc. We gave up and decided not to have kids. Cut to 4 months ago when we found out I was pregnant and are now transitioning into a future with a magical mystery baby girl. Feel free to follow along in our journey from infertility to beyond!