Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My First Bike Wreck and Other Shenanigans

So I got into a scooter wreck last night. Good times, I appear to be intact and have just a few bumps and bruises, my back is acting up as well, but that's to be expected after biffing it and sliding UPHILL underneath a scooter in 4" of snow, right? lol. Seriously though, I'm fine. The scooter seems to be in ok shape too, I'm glad we went used! Thanks to all the banks who refused to finance us.

In other news, it's CD52 and AF is nowhere in sight, I've been having a few symptoms, mostly cramps and having to pee a lot. I can barely make it through the night without my bladder feeling like it's going to burst. I'm going to test at the end of the week for funsies because I picked up a few $1 store cheapies. Here's my chart if you want to see the madness. No idea what's going on here, looks pretty anovulatory to me, but who knows. The day before that gigantic spike, I'd had a fever, so I think this chart is completely shot, also due to the fact that for the last 2 weeks of it, I woke up way earlier than normal, but oh well.


We went to the adoption agency today and apparently there was a miscommunication, so we now have to wait until Feb 6th for an orientation followed by our initial consultation. I'm a little bit crushed that now we have to wait over a month to start waiting some more, but I'll get over it.  Hubbs was very awesome and supportive as always. He also came to my rescue last night after I crashed and was stranded in the middle of a snowstorm at 9:30pm. My knight in shining armor!

I don't teach at all this week and my school vacation starts Friday, I have no idea what I'm going to do with all of this free time! lol. I'll probably just wind up playing a whole lot of video games, which, let's face it, is totally a great way to spend a vacation.

We might have our nieces and nephew over for a movie night on Friday, but that's kind of up in the air at the moment. It's always fun when they come over, we make them popcorn and go all out. I hope the plans work out. I think we're the "favorite" aunt and uncle, and they are definitely our favorite bunch of nieces and nephews. It's easy when the only other nephew around is a three-year-old who is somehow now in the twice-as-terrible-twos-because-the-kid-is-now-three. lol.


Monday, December 17, 2012

Just 5 Long Cycles

As 2012 is rapidly coming to a close, I've noticed that so far, I've only had 5 cycles this year. FIVE. That is it. While I guess most women would be envious that I hardly ever have to stock up on tampons... but seriously, wtf, just five. Only five chances to even remotely try to get a fertilized egg out of it, granted, my body has just been hoarding them all year anyway, so the fact that I've managed to have five cycles at all is quite miraculous in my opinion. lol.

We're still waiting to hear back and start the screening process for this infertility/weight loss study that's supposed to start in the next month or so. I hope we get in, but if I get this new job, then we won't actually be able to be around for the full 6 months of the study. At this point I don't even know what to do. We're moving on and trying to adopt, but it would be nice to lose some weight. I've been struggling with my weight  for as long as I can remember and would really like to get rid of my giant belly that I constantly fear someone will mistake for a real baby instead of a food baby.

For now I'm just going to look forward to my little Christmas vacation and hope that everything works out for the best and that at least one of our awesome plans comes to fruition.

I subbed at an elementary school again today and the kids were very sweet and well behaved. I will totally try everything in my power to keep subbing for that age group, because seriously, they're awesome.

Tomorrow we're going to the adoption agency and I'm bummed because my Dr's office can't process my request for like, 2 weeks or something lame like that. I think I might just swing by before class and try to get them to just photocopy my chart for me or something. That's all that we're missing, I just have to find our tax returns from the last 2 years, I think they're somewhere easy to find... maybe. Well I for sure know where last year's are! lol. I should just start being smart and keep them in the same folder, but I don't. grrr.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

It's Happening!!

We've gotten all of our stuff together and Hubbs and I have arranged our appointment for Tuesday! Our very first appointment with the adoption agency and just squeezing it in two weeks shy of the deadline we set for ourselves earlier in the year. Go us!

We are nervous and excited and really just hope that we get approved and that someone picks us to be their child's parents! I'm pretty sure I'm going to be even more of a giant ball of nerves waiting to hear back from the agency than I am waiting to hear back about the dream job. I'll just try to take it one day at a time and hope that everything works out for the best.

Tomorrow I'm subbing at a different elementary school and am looking forward to it. I'm a teeny bit nervous because this time, I'll be subbing with the actual special ed department. It's nice in one way because one of the aides takes over the role of teacher and you just kind of help out as needed, so it's nice to not have the pressure of being solely responsible for the students.

So far I really enjoy subbing and hope that I can stick with it for a while, it's definitely not something I want to do forever, but will certainly do for now. I do wish there was a little bit more stability with it... it would be so completely awesome to get a long-term gig. I'll just keep my eyes open I suppose.

I hope all of you had a fantastic weekend filled with love and laughter and thanks for stopping by!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

My Week Subbing

You know, I was trying to think of what to blog about today, and I'm just kind of coming up blank. Over the last week I've been subbing at an elementary school and the kids there are so precious and full of potential and possibilities that it makes it difficult for me to process the tragic events of yesterday. So I'm not going to talk about it because it is a very heated topic; I have my opinions, but I'm going to go ahead and keep them to myself.

Teaching elementary kids is so much better than high school it's completely awesome. I subbed at the same school for the entire week, I bounced around to different classes and it was a great experience. I hope that I can stick with them forever. Yesterday, as I was leaving, Different kids I'd taught during the week came up to me and said "Hi!", or cheerfully explained to their teacher that I was a great sub, I even got a few hugs. It was really sweet.

I have to say the kids that stuck with me the most though, were the ones in the Special Ed Behavioral Unit that I subbed for on Thursday. Those little kids totally broke my heart. The two youngest ones (1st Graders) were very sweet. At one point during the class one said "I wish I was smarter so I could go back to my regular class." the aide and I explained to her that she was smart, the aide went on to further explain that the reason she is in this class is because of her behavior. The other little girl became a favorite with me. She needed a lot of one-on-one time because she didn't get to go to the holiday assembly with the rest of the kids. Only 3 were held back from the assembly, and there were 3 of us there, so each got one-on-one time. She was really trying her best to be good and do her assignment, but because she had one or two "slip-ups" she wasn't allowed to "move up a level". Apparently the children have to maintain 20 days of perfect behavior, then there's a meeting with the parents, their teachers, and the student, to see if they can go back to the regular classes. From what I could tell, several of the students had perfect behavior for over 30 days. All these kids want is to be "normal" and to go back to their regular class. Several of them voiced this during the course of the day I was there. The one little girl in particular wanted to move up so badly and wanted reassurance that one day she'd be able to go back there. She shattered my heart into a million pieces. 

The teachers were very strict, and I know they have to be, but they just seemed downright mean for the most part. Some of these issues these kids have, I'm not sure are things that can be helped. They were all trying very hard to do their best and it seemed like the majority of the time, their good behavior was ignored, and the bad behavior was all that was getting any attention. It was by far the most emotionally difficult day subbing and I left feeling so sad for them. No one wants to see a child to be denied their hopes and dreams, and what these kids want, is just to be a regular student in regular school.

Subbing also made me realize though, just how much capacity I have in my heart for love. I took away from this week, more than ever, how much I really do wants kids. I want a child to encourage, to see grow and become an amazing human being. Hubbs and I aren't sure that we're ready, and maybe we'll never FEEL ready...but we know that we have enough love in our hearts to be awesome parents. We just hope the agency and the birth parents feel the same way. We're getting everything together this weekend so we can FINALLY have our first meeting with the adoption agency. It is terrifying and exciting all at the same time, but it is really happening and that is so incredibly spectacular. Wish us luck!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Jobtime Funtime

Sorry for the complete and utter failure at posting, for some reason it totally slipped my mind that I was doing NaBloPoMo again. Way to fail me!

As most of you know, I've started substitute teaching. I taught one day last week at high school and this week I'm going a stint at one of the elementary schools. High school was kind of meh, but I think I might like this elementary school thing. Here it's weird, because elementary school goes all the way up to 6th grade, which seems a little crazy to me, but ok. I've taken jobs in almost every grade so that I can see which one I like the best. I had 5th today and it was pretty decent. There were a few kids who didn't behave, but the rest were pretty awesome. They're young enough that they don't think to challenge my authority and old enough to care about school. The most awesome thing by far though is that soda cans in the teacher's lounge are only 50¢ which seriously is an awesome deal. Hurray for that.

Funny thing happened last night, our electronic lock on our apartment door killed itself, so maintenance installed a temporary deadbolt. A deadbolt that was too long for the lock, so we managed to lock ourselves INTO our apartment. Hubbs was totally freaking out, it was kind of hilarious. Basically, we had to pass the key through our window to the maintenance guy, who then had to try for about 10 minutes to unlock it with the key from the outside. So they key worked from the outside, but if you tried unlocking it from inside, you failed epically. I always call maintenance with the oddest things... "Yes, we are locked INSIDE our apartment, please send someone quick or if there's a fire, we will burn to death." also "Um... yea... there's a bat in our apartment, should I call animal control or can you handle that?" I so win. Really they should get excited every time I call now because it always seems to be for something ridiculous.

Christmas break is coming up and I'm not really sure what we're doing this year. We're poor and can't really go anywhere... although the last few years we've gone to Hubbs' Great Uncle's party. We're thinking of actually performing during the "talent show" portion of the evening. We're thinking either that christmas song from the grinch or run DMC's christmas rap. I'll include videos so you can help us decide. Note that Hubbs and I are awesome rappers, seriously.
 
Option One
 

Option Two


I'm not sure why there's a talent show portion of the Christmas Eve party... When I was a kid, I would put on little skits or whatever else in my grandparent's living room for everyone, I'm assuming it's the same kind of idea. It's always a lot of fun, but the past 2 years that we've gone we have yet to perform anything, I usually just tape everyone from the back row, or watch the kids whilst their parents perform. We'll see. So please vote and let us know which one you think we should perform! Maybe I'll post audio from our excellent performance. lol. 

I hope everything is well with all of you and that your holiday season is filled with love and joy and all of that jazz. I'll try to be better about posting the rest of this month, since I'll be on vacation for at least 2 weeks of it.

Monday, December 3, 2012

OMG Brains!

It seriously feels like my brain is trying to kill me, that or explode out of my skull, which would kill me, so SEE!!!! It's trying to kill me.

I still have the worst headache ever that refuses to go away and I'm not looking forward to 3 hours of power tools at school tonight. I can't miss any days though, so maybe I'll just hang out in the classroom and study instead of be out in the welding lab. Hopefully I just feel better by class time because I am on a roll right now.

Went to the library today and picked up a few books since I now actually have time to read and don't have to listen to audiobooks anymore. I got Leviathan Wakes, Bare Bones, and Succubus Blues (The book club pick for the month). I also picked up some movies "I'll Believe You", "Life as We Know It", and "Love Potion #9". I remember the last one from when I was a kid and am totally psyched to watch it again. I'm not sure if you're supposed to put movie titles in quotes, but I'm doing it anyway! Proper grammar be damned!

I had to return a Christmas present that my in-laws gave me... for the second year in a row. The watch was cute, they just failed to take into account my giant man-sized hands and wrists. Sadly, the watch did not fit, but I did trade it in for two pairs of earrings that claim to be hypo-allergenic. All types of earrings seem to turn my ears green, even the ones for "sensitive ears" so I'm hoping these ones really do the trick.

Also, the most magical and amazing thing happened today at the DMV. Oh, I know what you're thinking, "there's no way anything magical ever happens at the DMV" but let me assure you, it does. It does indeed. I had to re-register our car (3 days late, but shhh), I got in and out in less than 3 minutes!!! That has to be some kind of world record! That place is amazing! Best DMV experience ever.

My back is really acting up today, which does not really help with the whole killer headache thing. I pretty much feel like death, it is so incredibly awesome. I'm sure tomorrow will be better though. =)

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Headache of Doom

Pretty much I've spent the whole day wishing I could just fall asleep and forget everything, but my head is throbbing and refuses to allow me to do so. Tylenol has done nothing and I feel completely crummy. Best day ever.

Typing isn't really helping matters either. grrrr. Maybe I'll just read or watch something with the volume turned down really low. We'll see.

Hubbs is going to make dinner tonight, which I'm excited about. Pretty much anything he makes always turns out awesome because he actually bothers to follow the recipe. lol. My stuff sometimes comes out crappy because I try to get all fancy and experimental with it.

Although I think I could just go for some mac and cheese, maybe he'll be nice and make it for me.

I hope all of you had a great weekend and I hope I have more light-hearted things to talk about tomorrow.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

A New Low and Creeptasticness

I don't know if adults are meant to sit in the backseat of minivans, but as I learned today, I am too fat. The seat belt would not buckle. It was close, but it was just so not happening. The belts in the grownup seats in the front fit just fine, but not the very back row. This made me a sad panda, but I got over it pretty quickly.

In other news, we went to an open house preview of my grandparents in-law's new art gallery... and I just have one question for you... which of these two paintings is the most likely to come alive at night and murder you?

 

I don't know, I feel like it's a pretty close call. For a while I was sitting there staring at them, trying to take a picture and I swear to you, my camera was not having it. I joked that maybe they were just those evil things that refuse to be photographed. Even so, I managed to take a shot, but the photos just don't do them justice. Super creeptastic.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Last of the Month

Well dear readers, we've made it! This has been, by far, my most impressive NaBloPoMo attempt yet and I want to thank all of you for making this possible! Woo-hoo!

I had my orientation/training for substitute teaching today and it was pretty terrifying, lots of "don't do this or you'll get fired." Hopefully I can hack it though. lol.

Today we had to get the car safety/emissions tested to renew our registration, but couldn't afford the $107 for the actual registration fee, so that will have to wait till monday. Eek. I'm sure it will all turn out fine. Sure we have no income for this month to speak of, but we have already paid rent, so at least we know we won't get evicted. Looking on the bright side for the win!

I have a few hours left to finish my NaNoWriMo and I really hope I can pull it off. I'm totally in love with the story and the characters and I hope that I can do them/it justice. We'll see.

Is there anything more delicious than a McDonald's Holiday Pie? I don't know that there is. I have no idea what they put in those little buggers but omg are they amazing, it's like gooey funfetti cakey deliciousness that I find myself craving way too often. I am powerless against them. So good. 

Thanks again for reading my ramblings this month and I'll see you all tomorrow for December!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Zombie Mode

I took a nap today, which as it turns out was a huge mistake, because by the time I woke up to go to class, I didn't want to. I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep all night because darnit, I was tired! lol

Anyways, I did wake up and went to class like a good girl and passed off 2 welds today, which is awesome.

Tomorrow NaNoWriMo ends and I'm not sure that I am going to finish on time, we'll see. Hopefully it all works out and I will, but I seriously doubt it. I have way too far to go!

Tomorrow I also have training for my new substitute teaching job, which should be nice. Mostly because I get paid. lol.

I had a job interview today that I think went rather well, they said they'd let me know in a few weeks. I won't hold my breath. lol.

I am completely addicted to DrawSomething. Seriously, for the last 2 days that's pretty much all I've done, I have to say at this point I think I've gotten rather good at it. I wish more of my friends had it though.

So here it is, almost the end of November, we're barely able to afford rent and renewing our car's registration, but we can technically do it. We just can't buy food for the next week or so. Ahh the glamorous life of unemployed people. lol. I'm sure it will all work out ok. We're technically a month ahead on rent so after this payment, we can take a little break.

I'm going to bed early and tearing myself away from my phone, because otherwise I'd just stay up for several more hours drawing things on a tiny little screen for strangers. lol.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Winding Down

As the end of the month nears and I'm freaking out about finding a new full-time job and not being able to pay to register our car, which needs to be done by friday... ugh. I'm gonna go ahead and choose to take joy in the little things.

1. My awesome new phone upgrade that I got for free.

2. Getting to play angry birds again on said awesome phone.

3. Grumpy cat... so grumpy and cute, makes my day instantly better.

4. Finally making progress on my widget! At school, I am currently working on the most difficult weld I will ever do in the entire course. Attempt #3 is gonna be the one, I just know it! lol.




Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Yet Another Job Interview

Technically, at the moment, I am employed by 3 of those staffing places. The uncertainty of not having fixed hours and not knowing if I have work until a few hours before kind of freaks me out.

Luckily for me, I have snagged yet another job interview. This potential job is with an awesome company that has great benefits and an amazing corporate environment; a company where you really are treated as a person and not just a number. I really hope I get it, not only does it pay a buttload and would give Hubbs and I a chance to save up a little bit and have some security for once, but it will be a great distraction whilst I wait to hear back from my dream job. (Which won't be till around February or March and who knows how long after that until I actually start if I do get the job)

Wish me luck! I'm doing a bunch of research for the company, because apparently, the interviews there are notoriously difficult because everyone and their mother wants to work there. lol.

Hubbs and I also only have about a month to get all of our crap together and actually head down to the adoption agency. I know the timing isn't great, and we always seem to find things to get in the way, but we figure it's better to get the paperwork and the screening process started now. Even if we do wind up moving, the agency is national, so it won't really matter where we live as long as it's in the US. The procrastination really needs to stop.

With my NaNoWriMo novel I'm only at 30,000 words and have about 3 days to finish another 20,000. Good heavens that is insane. I am such a dummy for not writing more when I had the chance! Grrrrr! Oh well. I'll just do the best that I can and hope it all turns out alright in the end.

Of course, I could write after I finish up this post, but will I? No. I'll do a little more research for this job interview and then go watch Glee on Hulu, because it's not going watch itself! Also, there are a few episodes of Top Gear on Netflix that I haven't seen yet. Love me some Top Gear.


Monday, November 26, 2012

Studying Actually Works? Amazeboobs

I spent pretty much all day Saturday on vacation studying math. I had a big placement test to take today for that dream job I've been rambling on about for a few weeks now.
I banged my head against the wall and resisted the urge to reach for my calculator and magically, wonderfully, the practice must have sunk in during the hours I poured over those ridiculously hard math problems.

Today, I drove an hour, found the testing center, and sat down to a computer. I answered the questions and sat back in fear when it kept giving me more and more... this was a smart test, surely if it was giving me more questions, it was because I was getting too many wrong and it was trying to figure out just how much of an idiot I was. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, but was really a grand total of 1 hour, 33 minutes, and 39 seconds, the test ended and I was handed a single page of my scores.

The people at the dream job informed me that I needed a minimum of a 3 in math, 3 in writing, and 5 in reading... but wtf was this?! My test scores were 99, 96, and 40! What did this mean!? How was I supposed to know if I made the minimums?

I called a few placed frantically, the school in Virginia where the test was based, the dream job people, the school counselor. Finally I had my answer. I PASSED!! YAY!! Best day ever and for once, I actually mean that.

I came home, excitedly told Hubbs, and uploaded the scores to my application. Now all I do is sit and wait and hope that they choose me, a girl who rocked the test and exceeded (by far) all of the minimum requirements. Wish me luck, readers! The job posting closes at the end of December, so by then those chosen for interviews will be informed. I'll be sure to let you all know!

I have a few hours to kill before class, so I shall make a sincere effort to slam out some words for my NaNoWriMo novel that I have 4 days to finish... I really need to stop slacking on that. Luckily, I have all day for the next 3 days. I really hope I get it done by the deadline.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Holiday Mayhem

Well, it feels absolutely amazing to be home. Seriously...

We passed about a bajillion pile-ups on the freeway on the way home. It was absolutely ridiculous. Driving 15mph for half an hour when the speed limit is 80mph really puts a wrinkle in the 'let's get home quick' plans. Of course our dog was a royal pain in the ass in the car and decided that no, he must be held in the passenger's arms for the remainder of the trip. What a little poo head.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was fun, there was some family awkwardness as usual and lots of deliciously fattening food. My mom made some super gross stuff for turkey day so I was really glad I dragged Hubbs to BW3's for some wings and football before hand.

Now I'm sitting here studying for the math placement test I have to take tomorrow for this dream job o' mine that I've applied for and really laughing at myself for being so completely horrible at math. Maybe it's not funny... but some of the time, it really makes me giggle. I'm on to memorizing the multiplication table now. Remember that thing? I didn't! lol. Fun times all around up in here!

I have orientation of Friday for my fancy new substitute teaching job and am looking forward to that. Hopefully it will distract me whilst I await the outcome of my application fest to the job of my dreams.

I didn't get any writing done over the holiday, so basically I have 4 days to write about 20,000 words... that can be done, right? Why did I do this to myself? lol. NaNoWriMo, I will conquer you yet!

I'm also staying up late because as of 11/26 (midnight of course) my phone is eligible for an upgrade with Verizon, magically enough, 11/26 is Cyber Monday!!! (insert Kermit flail here) Really hoping to snag an awesome phone for next to nothing because I am seriously over my blackberry that shuts itself off randomly and refuses to load anything and generally makes me want to throw it against a wall. Wish me luck! 

I hope everything went well with all of you and I'm psyched to actually stick out this whole NaBloPoMo thing with all of you!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Things I'm Thankful For

I could get all serious and sappy, but you know what? Instead, I'm gonna list the things I'm thankful for that everyone probably forgets about.

1. Universal mini-USB chargers - My life is 10x easier now that there's not a separate charger for my phone, nook, camera, gps, and whatever other electronic crap I have lying around.

2. Scooters - In the short 3 months we've had our scooter as our second vehicle, it has already almost paid for itself in gas. Commuting back and forth between home, work, school, I was going about 100 miles in a 5 day period. We've gone from filling up the car every week, to every 2.5 and that is awesome.

3. Furbabies - As the Hubbs and I have yet to be cool enough to spawn our own offspring, we have our little furbaby. Sure he's had some health problems, and cost us like $800 in vet bills, and I had to BEG Hubbs for a year to let me get a dog... but that little muppet looking furball has brought so much joy to our lives. He cuddles with us when we're sad, makes us laugh at all of his adorable doggie antics, and is just awesome.

4. Cruise control - For the longest time, I didn't have a car with cruise control. I have driven across the country 3 times, taken several road trips totaling over 800mi and all the while, I had my foot on that stupid gas pedal. When we went shopping for our "new" car last year, I insisted that cruise control was a must. It is absolutely epically fantastic. No more leg cramps on road trips! Wooooo! Since we're driving to Vegas in about 4 hours, this was definitely on my mind.

5. Google+ Hangouts - I love google+ hangouts! It's been so fun to get together with my college friends and catch up actually seeing each others faces and expressions! lol. We dish on the latest gossip and laugh our heads off. If you haven't tried out G+ yet, seriously, go do it. I'm even considering dropping facebook entirely for it because all of the FB ads on my profile and such that you can't get rid of are really starting to piss me off.

That's all for now! I hope you all have a fantastic holiday weekend (if you're not in America, go ahead and just have an awesome rest of the week!) I shall return with hopefully enjoyable tales from Vegas. See you then!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Last Minute Post

I almost forgot to post today! Eep!

Hubbs and I leave for Vegas tomorrow after I get fingerprinted for my shiny new job.

I've printed math review questions and plan to study over the holiday and come back with awesome math skills and take the placement test for my dream job on Monday.

Everything seems to be going well. I've got that fun stick-on nail polish thing going on right now and dyed my hair so I'm all ready to be judged by my mother for whatever is wrong with my appearance this time. It seriously gets so old.

I shall try to post tomorrow before we leave, but I might get lazy and forget. lol. Just in case I do forget, I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and do awesome things.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

What's That You Say?

Hubbs and I are notorious for mis-hearing each other, or making the other repeat something 40 times because our brains for some reason can't process it. It's hilarious.  I'll often call to him "What did you say about chicken boobs?" and he'll holler back with "WHAT? Why the heck would I be talking about chicken boobs? I said 'lollipop'!" Or something that equally sounds nothing like chicken boobs. I can't wait till we're 80 and literally have zero idea what the heck the other is talking about.

We tried to go to bed early last night to get up in time for church this morning, something we have been failing epically at for pretty much the last 4 months. We're just that awesome. We always wind up just lying in bed chatting and giggling and coming up with completely ridiculous scenarios for the other to answer like "Would you rather be a talking T-Rex, talking tarantula, or talking rat?" He chose rat. He then countered with "Would you rather be the world's greatest chef, but be a rat, the world's greatest fisherman, but be a fish, or the world's greatest ninja, but be a dog." I chose dog ninja. duh! With these stupid little things we laugh or heads off and wind up staying up an extra 2 hours because we're just so funny.

These are the things that I'll miss if I do get this dream job and we have to be apart for a few months. Oh well. A few months in a whole lifetime. I find it very weird that we have yet to spend a day apart. Sure sometimes he sleeps on the couch because his back hurts or whatever, but nope, not a single 24 hour period apart yet. Maybe we should. lol. It's not like we're co-dependent or anything, we just haven't gotten around to being apart yet. Mostly because neither of us has an occasion to travel without the other.

I haven't been writing as much of the book as I'd like, I think it is coming together nicely, and I slammed out around 3,000 words last night, I'm just feeling like I need to procrastinate for some reason. Not sure what's going on with that, but I've only got 12 days to finish the whole 50,000 words and we're going to be gone and computer-less for 5 1/2 days of it. Eek.

Tonight I'm cooking turkey breast in the crock pot. Sure we're gonna have turkey in a few days, but yummy turkey! lol. It's taking way longer than it's supposed to so I'm fairly certain we'll be having dinner around 9pm, but that's fine, right? Suuuure. Also going to make biscuits, gravy, potatoes, yams, and acorn squash. Basically we only have a day and a half before we leave for Vegas and figure we should get rid of all of our vegetables before we go. I think it's a good plan. Might as well start eating like the fatties we are since we're going to spend the rest of this week gorging ourselves on deliciousness anyway. Best idea ever, what could go wrong?! rofl.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Dream Job!!

Today, I applied for my dream job! Well, technically, it's a stepping stone that is a hop, skip, and a jump away from the dream job. Still... I want it so badly!!

Sure it would involve moving across the country, and possibly being separated from my husband for about 6 months... but it would be completely amazing and everything we've been hoping for the last year. It also involves a four year commitment, but we are both very willing and eager and hope that this works out for us.

I really could use all of the prayers and well wishes anyone is willing to throw our way, this opportunity would completely change our lives in every imaginable way.

At this point, I've done everything that I can and now I shall sit at eagerly await a response. This is going to be way worse than any two week wait I've had to endure so far. lol. Hopefully, I can find lots of fun distracting things.

Tuesday I'm getting fingerprinted for my "in the mean time" job as a substitute teacher, training will happen after the Thanksgiving break, and I am looking forward to that as well. I remember some subs very fondly from my school days and hope that I can be even half as awesome as they were. For the subs that sucked, I will definitely make an effort to be a thousand times better than they were. None of this taking attendance and then letting everyone skip class.

Hubbs and I are leaving Tuesday, and with the lack of constant computer access over the short break, There will only be posts up to Tuesday, and then I'll be back on the 25th. So far though, I am fairly certain this has been my most successful NaBloPoMo month yet! So hurray for that!


Friday, November 16, 2012

Technically Unemployed, Yet Employed

Well it's a good thing I decided to spend this week job hunting. lol. I got the official notice that I've been laid off today. Just off the heels of getting picked up by two staffing companies and getting hired on as a Substitute Teacher for yet another staffing company. So while, yes, I get to call these companies "my employers", technically, at the moment I don't have a job. Interesting predicament to find myself in but hey, it's better than nothing. So hurray for that. At least this way I'll have more time for writing, and now we get to head to Vegas a day early, so that's good.

Haven't told Hubbs yet because he's still off babysitting our nieces and nephew. I'm sure he'll be um... no, definitely not thrilled. lol. Maybe this will kick his butt in gear and get him to start applying to more jobs.

In other weird news, I think my belly button is infected,but hey! I'll have health insurance in a short little while so I'll get that all cleared up. Seriously, even when my belly button was pierced it never got infected. WTF. So frustrating. Stupid tummy fat ruining everything.

I'm really looking forward to the Vegas trip. Despite the fears about what the heck it is my parents are going to spring on us. A change of scenery always does wonders for me and it'll be nice to get to see my bestie. I <3 that lady! The only bummer about the trip is that pretty much all of our library books are due either before, or during the trip, so we won't have anything to read, but at least we'll get to watch the food network when we get there! lol. We are totally obsessed with cooking shows.

I didn't actually get any writing done yesterday, I got distracted with my book club book for the month and stayed up till about 2:30 reading it. Oopsies. It was pretty good but a little more YA than I realized, so the naughty bits were completely non-existent. Lame. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Interviewing LIKE A BOSS!

I am fairly certain that my interview went well today. I applied to be a substitute teacher for the school district here and they've invited me back for the orientation. They mentioned that the orientation is paid, so I'm hoping that means I have the job as long as my background check comes back clean, which I am 98% sure it will. lol. Here's to hoping it works out! "How do I reach these keeeeeeeds?"

Anyways, Hubbs has been applying for jobs as well and only occasionally gets down on himself for not supporting our family. I really don't understand where he gets this macho thing from. It's really annoying at times. Granted, yes, deep down, I kind of do get annoyed at the fact that I've been the primary breadwinner for the majority of our marriage, but that doesn't mean that I think he's less of a man, or that he's failing me as a husband. These weird ideas work their way into his brain and it makes me so mad that he refuses to see how awesome he really is.

So I think technically, at the moment, I'm "hired on" by 2 or 3 of those staffing services kind of places. I like the freedom of getting to say yes or no to a job and not being stuck with something that sucks the life out of me on a daily basis.

The book is kind of at a standstill! This month is going by so fast and with the holiday coming up, I have no idea how I'm going to finish on time. I'm seriously still only about halfway done and really hope that I get in the writing groove soon. I'm going to make a deal with myself that I will sit down tonight for two whole hours and write the entire time. Free-writing just whatever comes to mind, I'll edit it later. lol. Gotta beef up that word count.

Next week Hubbs and I are heading to Vegas for a kind of last Thanksgiving hurrah. My parents are planning on moving at some point and I've been getting the feeling that they have some sort of big announcement to make. The last few times I've spoken to my mother on the phone, she's cried at the goodbyes and there was another conversation from a few months ago that peaked my suspicions that something was up. Maybe the cancer is back? Maybe they're moving to California? Maybe the alien space ship is finally coming to take them home? I seriously have no idea, but I'm pretty much dreading the conversation. 

I hope things are going well with all of you, dear readers! Do you have any big Thanksgiving plans? Dreading seeing your relatives?


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

All of the Interviews!!

So far, I have snagged a few job interviews, two today and one tomorrow. I don't really have high hopes for these positions, but hey, something is better than nothing. I guess technically I was hired on at one of those staffing places, so they'll call me when a job comes up. One nice benefit of that is even if you don't work that week, as long as you're on the 'active' register you're eligible for health insurance! Woot! Sure they don't cover pre-existing conditions, but at least whatever other weird stuff comes up will be covered! So that's a win in my book. 

In the mean time, I made Fluxx boards last night! Fluxx is this super awesome card game that I have plugged on this blog before, but the only frustrating thing is that no one seems to know where to put all of the cards! In a game where the rules and goals constantly change and you've got to put down new cards, where do they go?!!? WHERE?! We have in our collection, Monty Python, Martian, and the newest addition, Cthulhu Fluxx! We love it and seriously play it a lot.

I had a boatload of extra felt left over from a failed baby shower (not mine, my SiL's) craft project and decided to put it to good use. I had enough to make 2 boards. One for Hubbs and me, and one for my eldest SiL to whom we introduced the game. Ours is a little more clean and polished, their is a little more not and more kid friendly. lol. Theirs was the rough draft. Anyway, here are some pics, cause who doesn't love pics?

 Kid's Board complete with glitter puffy paint, cause why not?


Our board


 Our board with cards in their places!


I'm seriously pleased with the way it turned out! No more cards sliding around the table, no more cards put in the wrong spot. A place for everything and everything in its place! Hurray!

Now with the rest of my 2 evenings off from work, I really need to get cracking on this book writing thing. I'm pretty sure I am nowhere near being on track to finish.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Job Application Frenzy

Over the last week I have literally applied to so many jobs, I can't even keep track. My current job is supposed to end the 30th of this month, but they've told me they don't need me till Friday this week and I'm kind of freaking out about trying to make rent now.

I've lined up a few interviews at some of those staffing type places that just take everyone and have lined up one to be a substitute teacher for the school district here.

A few other places have in-person applications, so I'm gonna run over to those tomorrow morning after my interview. I really hope I can pick up something soon.

The good news I suppose is that will all of this time off, I should be able to get a lot of writing done, so hurray for that.

I hate that I'm this old and still going through all of this crap. How I wish I'd just picked a career right out of high school and found something lasting. Living paycheck to paycheck and bouncing around from job to job is so not the way I imagined my adult life going. lol.

I'll just keep one eye on the future and walk around bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. It's all about having the right attitude!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Mission Accomplished!

So despite all of my protests from yesterday, we actually did eventually clean almost the entire apartment!! All that's left now is the kitchen and half of the giant pile of full garbage bags stacked by the door.

I am so proud! Hurray! There's a nice tidy little place for everything and gorramit, that crap is in its place!

Last night's gaming evening was a rousing success. We successfully rescued the treasure and lifted off the Forbidden Island before it sank back into the sea, and I won Cthulhu Fluxx, thanks to a poorly played goal card by my BiL. Muahahaha!

I didn't manage to get much writing done over the weekend it seems, but hopefully I can get out a few hours here and there and all will be well. There's still so much left to write and I am running out of story here. lol. Trying to beef it up with fun monster encounters and other such shenanigans. Hopefully it works out.

So the main reason I wanted to get the apartment all sparkly clean, is because this way, when it comes time for the inevitable Home Study at some point during the adoption process, that out place is always ready. No more complacency about messes for us! lol. Even though our apartment is super tiny and we basically just have enough room for a crib, but hey, if we had a kid of our own, that's where he/she'd be sleeping, so I'm sure it would be fine. We could even put up a little room divider so he/she would have his/her own space. It's pretty much that or the crib goes in the living room... we''ll figure it out eventually. Who knows, by the time we're actually all the way through the process, we could be living somewhere else anyway.

My neck still hurts pretty badly, but only in certain positions, which is a vast improvement from a few days ago. Victory!

I wish I could just stay home and write today, but I've got to get my ass to class, then eventually work. I was so tired last night, I think we wound up going to bed around 10:30... I work till midnight on weekdays so it will be interesting to see if I actually make it through my entire shift.

Did you do anything fun this weekend?

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Lazy Bones

I am like the laziest person ever. I had all of these lofty ambitions about cleaning ALL THE THINGS! today and so far, Hubbs is still asleep and I've been up for what seems like forever and haven't done a darn thing. I've been fantasizing about ham and eggs and toast for breakfast for over an hour and still haven't gotten up to make it. There's a huge bucket of lollipops that I got the week after Halloween for less than $2, maybe I'll just eat those for breakfast... although by this hour it would really be brunch. grr.

Now my attitude is totally a little closer to THIS. Man I suck. That's ok, we still have 6 hours until we have to be somewhere and that's totally plenty of time to clean our 600sq ft. apartment from top to bottom even though there are foot high piled of dirty clothes... right? Ugh.

Last night I managed to get a decent chunk of writing done and am so much closer to halfway done with my 50,000 word masterpiece for NaNoWriMo. Seriously thrilling. Perhaps even when I hit the word cap, and then go back and edit, I'll wind up with a real, adult sized book, like 80,000 words or so! Who knows! After it's all done, I am toying with the idea of actually trying to shop it around. There are several publishers that actually bother to accept unsolicited submissions. Maybe I'll go crazy and try to get an agent, who knows! The possibilities are endless!

I've been applying to more jobs like crazy. My contract is up in about 3 weeks and they still haven't let me know if they plan on keeping me on for the next one, so I'm keeping my options open. Hubbs and I desperately need the money and I have him applying to things as well, but I tend to have better luck. In the over 2 years we've been married, I've only been unemployed for about 4 months total despite bouncing around and working a total of around 10 jobs or so. Wish us luck.

Also, I think my old neck injury is coming back. It feels like the bones are grinding together or something and causes me intense pain whenever I try to tilt of move my head, which definitely makes me want to not clean things. Hell, it hurt when I was watching tv last night. Maybe I'll be cool and pop on my neck brace again and feel awesome. Supposedly, it's just a muscle spasm that causes the awfulness, usually stress induced, at least that's what it was last time. I'm just going to use this as further proof that my body hates me. Oh hey, you wanna make babies? NO. BAM! PCOS. Oh, you wanna work at your fancy new warehouse job? NO! Fall off a step ladder and hurt your back like an idiot. Oh, you wake up thinking it's morning and you're all ready for the day? J/K! It's 1am B!!!! BWAHAHAHA. Grumble grumble. Well, at least it won't interfere with my game playing abilities, cause tonight we're gonna rock out with some Forbidden Island, and Cthulhu Fluxx! Forbidden Island will be nice because we all work together to recover the treasure and get off the island safely before it sinks back into the ocean. We all win! Then Cthulhu Fluxx for when we try to screw each other over and crown ourselves grand champion of the game night! So fun. I'm totally gonna win. lol.




Saturday, November 10, 2012

Date Night

I have declared that tonight will be date night!

I got home from work about 2 hours early last night and sat in the living room catching up with my shows on Hulu for about 5 hours whilst Hubbs ignored me and ran nerd dungeons with his friends on WoW.

Tonight, that dude is all mine! Lol. We're going to go see Bourne Legacy at the dollar theater, because we figure everyone else will be at the regular theater watching Skyfall and we should see a slightly less cool, but more badass action character instead. Then we're off to dinner at our favorite Mexican place because they sent us a buy one, get one coupon in the mail. Go us.

I managed to get some writing today while Hubbs slept off his late night. To be fair, I went to bed at 4am too... but I seem to function better on less sleep. I'm really excited about where the book is going and am almost halfway done with just over 20 days to go! Woot!

We have had our dog for a little over a year now and I had completely forgotten how much that little weirdo loves so. He prances around in it no matter how deep it is and absolutely LOVES peeing in it. I wish I got as excited about things as he does about peeing in the snow. It's funny, he hates getting his paws wet on the grass when it's raining, but will totally dive right on in to the huge (for him) snow drifts. The other adorable part is when he comes in and the snow is stuck to his curly poodle fur and he shakes it all off and rolls around on the floor in the little snow pile he makes. So cute. Best dog ever.

I did have the intention of cleaning the heck out of the apartment this weekend. Maybe I'll save that for late tonight since I'm on a bit of a writing roll and we have our date plans. I am determined to get it done at some point this weekend though. We have plans tomorrow night to go over to the other SiL's house for dinner and a game night, so any cleaning will have to be done before 6. Hopefully we can get it all taken care of.  Hubbs doesn't know it yet, but there's no way I'm cleaning this B all by myself, there's gonna be some manly contribution! lol.

How about all of you? Any exciting weekend plans? Is there a project you've been meaning to get to, but just keep procrastinating?



Friday, November 9, 2012

SNOW!

I woke up to this today.


It's not like I live in Canada or Alaska, or Siberia... yesterday it was 70 degrees. SEVENTY! Today, SNOW! MADNESS!!

Hubbs let me take the car to school today since he's still a little sickly and blew off class for the week after his fever the other day. Glad I didn't have to ride my scooter, because even with an AWD car, I was slipping and sliding all over the road, and the brakes locked up when I even remotely tried to brake. Good times. I thought I was going to die several times. I have work tonight, but I really don't feel safe in the idea of driving home after midnight when there's a high chance that the storm will only get worse. I'll see what it's like later, but pretty sure I'm not going to work tonight.

Luckily we don't have any big plans for the weekend either. We're such boring people. Really I'm just hoping to use the weekend to write, the last few days it seems like there just haven't been enough hours in the day to get everything done. Something that I'm sure will only become more of a problem as life goes on. lol.

It was funny, the other day Hubbs was like "This is why we need to have kids." I asked what on earth he was talking about and he said "So we can make them our little chore slaves, just like my parents did to me, so they can hate us." I rofled my head off. Our apartment it such a mess and we both have a bit of a laziness issue when it comes to picking up stuff. This weekend I'm planning on going completely overboard and cleaning the heck out of everything. Then we just have the job of not making messes and everything will stay nice and clean. We'll see how long that lasts. lol. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Write All The Words!

At this point, I've made some pretty impressive NaNoWriMo progress. I'm about 1/4 of the way finished with my novel! I'm a little less excited now that I've found out that just anyone who finishes the 50,000 words is classified as a winner. I was hoping they actually read the books and picked good ones. You can totally just win by writing 50,000 words of complete garbage. Hopefully, mine is a little less garbage-y.

I was actually thinking about the ending to my book on my way home from school today, and I got a little misty eyed visualizing it. I'm excited! I think that means maybe other people might get all misty eyed too! So far, I've come to love these characters of mine and want everything to work out well for them. Eventually it will... but there's a little bit of heartbreak in there before the end.

Hubbs' fever finally broke and he appears to be doing well. I spent almost all night last night in a horrible nausea spiral. I woke up feeling ok though and no fever for me! It's weird, but every time Hubbs gets sick, I never seem to catch it even though we sleep in the same bed. I am immune! lol.

My current job is coming to a close, and I have to say I'm kind of glad. I'm really tired and quite frankly, the work is incredibly repetitive and boring. I am seriously hoping that I do get to move to management for the next project, but if not, I'm not sure I'll continue on with this company. We need the money and working part-time just isn't enough.

Lately I've been so ridiculously thirsty. I think yesterday I drank almost a gallon of water over the course of the day. I'm constantly parched. I'm worried that maybe this means my insulin resistance may have turned into the dreaded diabeetus. Can it even do that? I wasn't ever classified as pre-diabetic, so I don't know that this is something that could happen, but I'll sit and worry about it anyway, cause that's what I do.

Also, what the heck do breast lumps feel like? Everyone always talks about them, but I would like a little plastic boob model at the Dr's office that has a little lump in it so you can actually feel it. My boobs just feel weird. There are two little spots, one on each boob, that feel different than the rest of the boob and are a little sore to the touch... maybe it's just something that goes along with post lady time. I'll just keep checking and hope for the best. I found THIS, but i don't generally go around feeling up beans and lemons...




Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Cowbell Fever!

So Hubbs has had a fever since yesterday, and sadly, it appears cowbell is not, in fact, a cure. I had to work last night, but I was good and made him soup before I left. It's dropped to 99.something, but yesterday it rollercoastered a lot.

I didn't manage to get any writing done yesterday, but I still think I've got some good ideas and just need to get it all down. I keep encouraging Hubbs to write, but he's got 2 huge papers due next week for school, so we'll see. He was like "This is literally the worst month ever for this." Hopefully it works out well for him because I think it would be a great self-esteem boost for him.

In IF news, we're still waiting to hear back from the doctor leading the study again to get in on the screening process. I'm really hoping that we make it through. Hopefully also, they test Hubbs' swimmers. It would kind of be pointless for us to lose weight in the hopes of curing my IF, if he's shooting blanks. I brought up him getting tested before and he was pretty squeamish about the idea, hopefully within the confines of a study FOR SCIENCE! He'll just do it. lol.

School time for me. Here's to hoping I don't screw up the widget I've been working on for about a week straight.


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Things I Love Lately

Yesterday was all glum and gloomy about things that make me go blaaarg rage monster!!

Today then, is going to be about things that give me a happy. I shall share with you lovely readers the things that bring a smile to my face no matter how crappy my day is.

1. This chick's whole blog is hilarious, but this post in particular sends me into a fit of the giggles.

2. This song. While I most definitely occasionally got made fun of in high school, and I'm not cool yet, but dangit, some day I will be. lol.



3.  This picture of my nephew from the 4th of July. I can't even begin to think of a day I was ever this excited. That means it's got to be coming.


4.  NaNoWriMo. As many of you know, I am participating for the first time in National Novel Writing Month. So far I'm about 1/4 of the way finished with my 50,000 page first book attempt. It has been so much fun! I find myself thinking all the time about how I want the story to go, and waiting to see where it takes me. It's not too late for you too! You can join and write your own book! I'm already looking forward to next year's!

5. My little furball. We cuddle in the mornings and I just cradle him whilst I browse the interwebz. I also get a kick out of how crazy excited he gets about his squeaky toys. This is his unamused face.





Monday, November 5, 2012

Things That Make me Angry

There are things in this world that just really piss me off. A few of them, I am sure I am going to get flak for, but that is why the internet exists. Where varying opinions can duke it out and be heard.

1. This. A mother directly caused the death of her child by being stupid. Is she going to serve time or be reprimanded in any way for this? Most likely not. There is something very wrong with that. Her child is dead because of what SHE did, not because of the animals at the zoo, and she should be punished for it. Sure it's tragic and all of that, but that doesn't change the fact that it is her fault and she could have prevented it. 

2. Elections. I do not vote. I have never voted in a major election in the 3 elections which I have been eligible. There are several reasons for this. Mostly because all of the candidates lie. They say what the voters in a particular region want to hear in order to sway them. There have also been several indications that your vote pretty much only counts for something in a swing state. (I do not live in a swing state.) I do see the value in voting for local things, like the mayor or school board, things that will actually impact my life once I have a house and kids in school. For now though, the President of the United States literally has zero impact on any of our lives. No President can wave a magic wand and fix everything that is wrong with our country and I have a problem voting for someone who claims they can.

3. People who ask "Do you have any kids?" or "When are you going to start a family?" within 5 minutes of meeting me. First of all that is crazy personal and I don't feel like telling you that we've been trying for almost two years and just plain can't. Secondly, that is an incredibly insensitive question. You have no idea what my situation is, what is going on in my life, do yourself a favor and shut your mouth. I get asked that so often, and as an infertile, I resist the urge to yell at them "I can't have any and thanks for reminding me, jackass." Perhaps I will stop restraining myself and teach them a lesson.

 4. The "Sauce Nazis" at McDonald's. Every other fast food chain will give you a mountain of sauces. I once went to BK and asked specifically for a mountain of zesty sauce, because that stuff is insanely delicious and just as addictive as crack. They literally gave me 15 of those little individually wrapped plastic tubs. McDonald's on the other hand charges you 20¢ per packet over the standard amount, which for a 5 piece order of nuggets is 1, you get 2 for a 10 piece. Stop being stingy on the sauce! I also realize that this is one of the major contributing factors to Americans being fat. People starve all over the world and I complain about sauces. I know, I'm a jackass, let's move on.

5. Recycling. I do not recycle. There is one thing, just one that I will bother to recycle, and that is aluminum cans.  It is the only recyclable that is cost effective and can be recycled forever.

Off my soapbox I go, what about you, readers? What really grinds your gears and makes you take a deep breath to stop yourself from turning into a hulking rage monster every time it comes around/is brought up?




Sunday, November 4, 2012

60th Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday, the family got together to celebrate my grandparents-in-law's 60th wedding anniversary. 60 years! I remember my grandparents make it to 50, but by then my grandmother had already had her stroke and died within a year or two after.

If Hubbs and I make it 60 years, we'll both be in our late 80's. Maybe we'll live that long, but who knows.

It was great to see that even after that much time, they still obviously love each other. They are the cutest little old couple ever. Looking back over their years together via photo albums and such laid out on a table was pretty awesome. They have pictures of everything, and they've really had a full and amazing life together. I hope Hubbs and I get to be that lucky.

In driving up there and spending some time with Hubbs' siblings, I learned some interesting things. Hubbs' second oldest sister's husband thinks that her eldest sister is... I believe his exact words were "almost clinically insane" good stuff. I don't see it. Hubbs' eldest sister is the closest thing I have to a best friend around here, and she's been awesome to me, but apparently she just really hates her sister's husband. lol.

We also learned that Hubbs' brother (he only has one, and 4 sisters), after coming back from a tour in Afghanistan as a marine, has been having a very difficult time. It started out as anxiety after his buddy committed suicide upon their return to the US. Now he's developed a tick and had a flashback whilst on duty at the base. He thought he was back in Afghanistan and started searching the base for IED's. He's now getting the help that he needs from the military, but he and his wife live on the other side of the country from everyone else, and we have to rely on second hand information as to his well-being. We definitely wish him a speedy recovery and hope that there will be no permanent damage as a result of his service.

In NaNoWriMo news, I designed the cover for my book yesterday. I kind of got absorbed in it and banged out a semi decent finished product. I'm really pleased with it, considering I wound up using MS Paint because the trial of Photoshop turned out to be too difficult for me to use. I couldn't figure out how to do anything in that darn contraption. lol. I am also pleased to say that I'd given what I'd written to my eldest SiL and she loves the story so far and thinks it's a really unique and great story. It's nice to know I'm not wasting my time and that maybe there's an audience for this thing after all. She was telling me how she is dying to know what happens next, so I am super thrilled.

Hubbs has been steadily working on his as well, he hasn't shown any of it to me yet, but has been bouncing ideas off of me and his BiL (the one who hates my eldest SiL) lol. I'm really excited to see how his turns out. I just hope he doesn't keep getting distracted by WoW and missing the deadline. I know he would be extremely happy if he could just write for a living and not have to slave away in some job that he hates just to help put food on the table.

I'm also probably going to hit 1,000 page views sometime this weekend, which completely blows me away. Sure to some bloggers with well over 10,000 or 100,000 or millions, my measly 1,000 might not seem like that much. Everyone has to start somewhere, but I never imagined when I started over-sharing with the interwebz about our fertility struggles that anyone would want to read it. So thank you!! Thanks for sticking around and reading my ramblings and sharing along in this adventure with us.




Saturday, November 3, 2012

3am Ramblings of a Sleepy Blogger

Since it is now 3am and I've pretty much just been oogling old pictures and trying to find the wedding videos I posted on youtube on an account I can't remember for the life of me. Luckily I found them and laughed my ass off watching them all. Who played Erasure "Always" during the cutting of the cake? We did. Cause we're awesome nerds and at the time, all of our friends and us too for that matter were utterly and completely addicted to Robot Unicorn Attack. To get back on track here, I was like... hey! It's technically the 3rd! That means I can post now and get credit for posting on day 3! Hurray me! Pure 3am omgi'mtiredandhavetogetupin6hoursgenius.

I needed some cheering. Frankly, lately I've been tired and unmotivated. I feel like I've hit a plateau at work and school is just kind of dragging along. Although I never really get tired of playing with fire and melting metals to make other metals stick together. Welding is awesome that way. So I ordered myself a Bert the Farting Hippo from NCIS (it was 65% off that day), because Hubbs and I love that show to pieces and also because it's a farting hippo and farts are hilarious. Except when Hubbs farts in my general direction whilst we're both under the covers and it's super gross. No methane cuddles for me thank you!

I am also debating about actually showing my face and releasing my identity on this blog. For over a year it has been my venting place. I over-share about Hubbs, my lady bits, and all of our futile attempts at baby-making. I talked about my history of abuse and things that I haven't been able to share with anyone I know in my everyday life. You though, readers, have seen all of the sides of me that I'm sometimes afraid to show. I've been living in this safe cocoon of anonymity for as long as this blog has been around and the idea of stepping outside of that safety net is both tempting and terrifying. I'll think about it some more, and maybe one day if you're lucky, my double chinned, double cheeked face will be plastered just to the right of whatever ramblings come to mind that day.
What do you all think? Was it hard for you to put yourself out there on your blogs or did it come naturally? Do you hide your blogger identity from friends or family? Do you tell your readers things you can't tell others? Let me know and share your stories of courage or cases where blogging backfired on your real life. I'm curious.

In other news I've added a little NaNoWriMo ticker to the right there to track my word count progress. So far it's going pretty well. I'm chugging right along and think it's coming together really well. I have my SiL all set to help proofread and such. She writes an online bi-weekly column on a rather well known website, so I value her input.

Now I really have to get my ass in bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We're taking a 2 hour (each way) car ride with our horribly ill behaved 3-year-old nephew and much more delightful 6-month old niece. Wish us luck. lol. We're gonna need it.

Friday, November 2, 2012

OMG Hurray For Friday!

I cannot be more excited that it is Friday. This week has seemed like the longest week of my life and I am seriously so tired. Sure I'm blowing off both work and class today, but I'll probably still go to work tonight.

My forearms are so sore, which is guess is an improvement from yesterday when they felt like jello. lol. At school, I was grinding out a weld and kept noticing little imperfections, so I kept grinding... for like an hour. They don't have the cute little tiny grinders either, so I was hacking at my widget with a ginormous thing that had to weigh like, 30 pounds. Afterwards, when I had to hold a pen, my body said "NO!" and forced me to write with my left since it hurt the least. Good times.

NaNoWriMo is in full swing and I am pleased to say that yesterday I managed to slam out an introduction and a small portion of Chapter 1! Hurray! I'm looking forward to the weekend so I can sit down and really work on getting more of it down. I'm not sure that a 50,000 word novel can be written in 30 days, only writing on weekends, but we'll see. Fingers crossed.

Hubbs and I still haven't found time to get everything in order for the adoption agency visit. I'm kind of sad about that. Once November is over, I'll likely be switching to different hours, or a new job altogether which hopefully means we'll be able to get it together. Our new goal is to sit down and have our initial visit before 2013. Wish us luck with that.

Tomorrow we are heading up to "the city" for Hubbs' grandparents 60th wedding anniversary celebration. 60 years!! That is absolutely insane. My grandparents are all deceased, except for my step-grandmother who is now in her mid-forties I think... but that is a whole other story.
I love spending time with his grandparents. They are both in their mid-to-late-eighties now and are so kind and funny. They're always offering to spend time with us and I relish it. It makes me regret never getting the chance to know my own grandparents as an adult. The whole dynamic of the relationship changes and they give you advice and pass on the wisdom of the ages, that when you're a child, doesn't seem all that interesting. I'm hoping that we get several more years with them.


Thursday, November 1, 2012

NaBloPoMo, NaNoWriMo

November shall be an interesting month filled with writing goodness. After much deliberation, I decided to put the book I'd been working on, on hold and try to finish a new one starting today and ending on the 10th. NaNoWriMo has some great prizes and really I just think it'll be a fun challenge. I have also encouraged Hubbs to participate. We're always bouncing ideas off each other and proofreading each others work and such. I don't have that much free time, Just a few hours between school and work in the afternoons, and that will be the time that I spend writing in addition to weekends.

In month's past, I have been a bit of a slacker in posting every single day for NaBloPoMo, but this month, I figure I'm going to go for it as best as I can. I know I've promised you that before, dear readers, but this time, I mean it. Lol. I'm so terrible at sticking to it. Especially when after working till midnight and getting up at 8:30, I pretty much feel like I'm in zombie-mode for the majority of the day.

A few things that have been entertaining me lately...

1. When listening to the audio book of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, there are almost constant references to "the poop" I am certain that Verne meant the poop deck, but I giggled pretty much every time the stuffy English narrator said "the poop." I am twelve.

2. We got Gibbs this new toy which he seriously cannot figure out. It's hilarious to see him pushing it around and sticking his nose in trying to get at the squeaky treasure inside. I think he's too light to actually be able to get it out properly.

3. We still haven't taken down our Christmas tree from last year, which is great, because now we're only a few short weeks away from the time when it's acceptable to put it up. We're ahead of the game! lol.

4. I'm currently in school to become a welder, and after a long day at school I notice 2 things: I'm always picking slag out of my cleavage, and black boogers are now a daily part of my life. I'm also wondering how long it's going to be before my fingertips are permanently blackened because seriously, no matter how often I wash them, they still seem to maintain a weird grayish/blackish tint.

I'm really looking forward to sticking to the plan this month and sharing in all of these new adventures with you. Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Doggie Halloween

Hubbs and I have a very important decision to make... what is Gibbs going to wear for Halloween. Petsmart was having a sale and the Top Paw brand costumes were 75% off. That was too good of a deal to pass up. I am turning to you, loyal readers to help us decide. Here are the 4 options. Vote for your favorite in the comments and we'll post pics from the big day!

As an FYI, Gibbs is my service dog, and he does his job very well. He comes with me pretty much everywhere and has been a fabulous and quality-of-life improving addition to my life. We pamper the heck out of him and love him like crazy. Sometimes, he's just too cute not to dress up though. lol. 

Option #1

Gnome


Option #2

Pumpkin 


Option #3

T-Bird


Option #4

Brain-Eating-Shark Attack Victim

  

So that's it, vote and help us out! We're bringing him along to our nieces' and nephew's Trick-or-Treating adventures so we want him to look his best. Thank you!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

My Favorite Time of Year

This is my absolute favorite time of the year. All of the leaves turn delightful golden, orange, and yellow. The air is crisp and clean smelling and there's a slight magic to it as well.

I mean sure, I also love it because my birthday is tomorrow, that's a plus. Then Halloween is right around the corner. Halloween is my favorite holiday, followed closely by Christmas. I love getting dressed up and going out and doing fun Halloween-ish things. Pumpkin patches and corn mazes, bobbing for apples and going to haunted houses. All good in my book.

Of course no holiday would be complete without watching my favorite themed movies! Hocus Pocus, Casper, and a few others top the list of must-watch Halloween-time fun. Sadly, most of my collection is still in my parents' garage, but the essentials are here. I'm thinking Saturday afternoon for the movie-fest.

It actually snowed here today, which is insane. Snow followed by a small hail shower. Certainly an interesting start to my morning. I commute to work/school on a scooter and today I was just not feeling it. I should be leaving for school right now, but instead I'm writing to you lovely readers. I can miss a day. It's fine. lol.

For my birthday shenanigans I'm not quite sure what we're doing. Hubbs has a few surprises planned. Saturday evening we're going to our favorite Brazilian Steakhouse and are gonna gorge ourselves on an endless stream of expertly prepared meats with his sister and her husband. At some point we're going to go see ParaNorman at the $1 theater because I've been begging to see it since before it came out. Sunday we're going to go to BW3's and watch some football, because I know that's what Hubbs wants to do and they sent me a coupon for free dessert. Woot.

As I near the big 3-0, I do realize that although my life hasn't quite turned out the way I thought it would, it is pretty awesome. I know that over the next however many decades, there will be more ups and downs and adventures all around. I can't wait and am very happy that I get to share it with my best friend.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

AF is a B

Pretty sure at this point AF is just messing with me. I've had some weird pseudo-cramps and hip pain over the last week or so. AF is 5 days later than last cycle. Last time, It showed up literally an hour after I caved and peed on a stick. Not making that mistake again this time! Lol. I will wait this sucker out!

Knowing me though, I'll probably cave. You get all psyched out and start hoping against all hope that just maybe there's some sort of miracle baby in there. I mean, come on, it happens all the time, right!? lol. Generally I just wind up giving in and testing because I don't want my hopes to get any higher. Pretty sure if I actually got a positive I would literally die laughing. Would make a great birthday present for us though...

I'll wait a week. This is my goal internet! Let's see if I make it.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Masks

Since October's theme is masks, it got me thinking about Halloween costumes obviously, even though this year masks are banned. Way to ruin it for the rest of us, meanie psychopaths.

Then I thought deeper, about the masks we wear ever day, the ones that hide our true selves, or our true feelings.

Specifically there are a few masks I feel that I've been wearing lately...

The Happy Wife - Hubbs and I have been married for a little over 2 years now, for I'd say... 85% of that time I've been the breadwinner. That's ok for now. Hubbs understands that he needs to step that up in the next few years, because I want to be a stay-at-home mom. At least until they go to school... Lately, especially when I was working my ass off, going to school at the ass-crack of dawn and heading straight from one part-time job to the next and came home to a filthy apartment with dishes and garbage strewn everywhere and a Husband sitting at the computer playing WoW... I got mad. The anger boiled inside me and there it stayed, fuming and threatening to explode. There I sat though, not saying a word because I know that Hubbs is sensitive about the fact that he doesn't provide for us. Feels like less of a man because he can't support his family. My anger would only send him into meltdown mode, which wouldn't help either of us. Some days I wonder what would have happened if I'd married one of the more well off men of my recent past instead; would have made me happier? For now, I wear my happy wife mask and suck it up because I really do love that man that I've tied myself to forever and nitpicking about dishes is not going to make forever pleasant for either of us.

Honesty - I lie, I sneak around and hide important things from family and those who love me. A few days last week, when my back hurt so badly I could barely move... I didn't go to my warehouse job. I went to an all day movie marathon, sneaking from one theater to the next with my giant tub of popcorn because I needed to escape the world. Sometimes I sneak off and have lunch by myself when I say I'm going to the library because I want to pig out and not be judged. I sneak food all the time. With the exception of two sisters-in-law and their husbands, no one else in our family knows about our infertility. I don't need a dozen more opinions or suggestions or cliches thrown at me. This is one lie I feel good about. The other thing I hide, mostly because I just don't know how to come out and say it... was that I was molested as a child. (If you're curious, feel free to read about it HERE.) That, I shared for the first time with you lovely readers. After finally admitting it to myself after years of struggling with the horrible memories, I needed to tell someone. Suffering it alone had become almost too much to bear. Still... I wear that mask, the mask of honesty, the one that never lets anyone get a hint of suspicion that just maybe, they're not getting the whole truth.

The Pillar of Strength - This one I wore through a majority of my youth. I saw crying as a weakness. I thought people who cried were pathetic and just needed to control themselves. I have no clue where I got this idea. As an adult, I still sometimes have this mindset. Very rarely, do I ever cry about something real in my life. Books and movies don't count, because I mean, I do have a soul. Geez! I want to say that in my adult life, I can count the number of times I've broken down and cried on both hands. This refusal to give into pesky emotions hides my feelings well... but I do feel them. This also helps everyone to believe that everything is just fine and dandy. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

The last mask that comes to mind at the moment, after a long day of work and blowing off a school field trip I was actually looking forward to... but come 7am, the bed won me over is the mask of confidence. I think we as women struggle with this one a lot. I have known very few genuinely confident women in my day; one of them is my best friend, she awes me with her love for her.

Confidence - I hate my body. I know deep down, I am not supposed to be fat. My heart yearns to be a size 12 again. Every time Hubbs and I have done it, the lights have been off. I've literally gotten to the point where I hate looking at myself. I should really shun pictures and mirrors all together, I think that would help me feel better about myself. I live in constant fear of someone mistaking me for a pregnant woman. It is literally my worst nightmare. Whilst I do have a bit of pudge all around, the majority of it is belly-centric. Thanks for that PCOS! I know I have a pretty face, but right now it's kind of hard to tell with my extra chin and cheeks. Oh yes, you thought only double chins were a thing? I'm rocking double cheeks as well. Picture it! Somehow though, I manage to put on this facade of "I know I look good." I know that my fat is temporary, even though it's been my companion for the last 20 years. That's one of the major reasons I'm so hoping we get into this weight loss study, I digress. I try to find the smallest little thing that I actually like about myself... my fall-back is my eyes.. I pretend that's all people see when they see me. It helps me trudge along until the day when the me I know is in there somewhere escapes from this prison of fat.  Sure there's the tiny chance that I'll still hate myself when I'm a more healthy weight, but I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. lol.

I hope where wasn't too much negativity in this post. I hope that it came across that I do indeed have this little shred of hope for the day when I no longer need these masks. For the most part, I don't care what other people think. (read other people as 'strangers') It's easy to be brazen and bold when you'll never see those people again... but when it's those you love... when it's those you know and will see for the rest of your life, it's very hard to let them see the darkest parts of yourself, whether it's because you fear judgement or rejection or any number of negative reactions... I have to believe though that the people who really truly love you won't care about your demons; they'll love you more for your faults and for being true to yourself. They'll appreciate you trusting them enough to confide in them and it will strengthen your bond even more. I wish I were brave enough to step out and take that leap today, alas I am not, but I do have that hope that someday soon, I will find the courage, and for now, that's enough.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Infertility Study and Other Things

In my area, a local University is conducting a 6-month long infertility study that has 3 stages. It starts with weight-loss and then teaches how to keep the weight off. After that they see how many couples get pregnant on their own. If you don't, then they provide fertility treatments.

We are seriously hoping that we're able to get in on this study. I meet all of the criteria for participants. Apparently all the men-folk need is a willingness to participate, where as I need to be sufficiently fat enough and unable to ovulate. Go me. There is no way we'd be able to afford something like this on our own and it is kind of the answer we've been looking for.

Wish us luck!!

In other news, Hubbs started his nanny gig and is surviving it. lol. Our almost 2-month-old niece is the biggest troublemaker out of the 4 kids, but he's doing well.

I hurt my back at work and have been struggling through my schedule with mixed levels of pain. The doctor thinks there's some ligament or tendon damage after a weird pseudo-slip off of a step-ladder.

We're considering me dropping down to just one job since they've offered me more hours as well as a potential transition to manager in November. Whilst I do really enjoy both jobs, companies, and the people I work with at both... I think it would be better if my schedule wasn't completely jam packed every day.

Hubbs' birthday is tomorrow. We're going to celebrate today since I can't really be there tomorrow, followed by cake and prezzies on Wednesday. I have a field trip for school that day and got off work for my afternoon job just for the occasion. I like having our birthdays close together, it's also nice because for 3 weeks, we're the same age and I'm not a year older. lol. October is crazy birthday month in our families. Hubbs is the 8th, my cousin the 11th, our niece is the 15th, mine the 26th, my brother's the 29th. It's a lot to remember, but we manage to make it work.

Hubbs and I are also both writing books!! His is more of an idea that he kind of outlined, mine has blossomed into a 5 chapter, almost 6,000 word wonder. So far I'm pleased with it, but haven't really put it out there. Hubbs has read my introduction and really likes the premise, but hasn't had time yet to read the new additions. I don't have much free time, but on weekends occasionally if something comes to mind, I'll add it in. I know where I want the story to go and I think I'll be able to get there soon. It's really exciting and fun. I'm hoping that by the end of 2013 it'll be done and I can self-publish. My SiL has offered to proof-read it for me and I'm thankful for that. I think she'll bring a good perspective. She has a bi-weekly column on a pretty substantial website so I definitely value her input as a writer. Also, my mom has self-published 2 books, none of which have received much acclaim, but she's done book signings and other such shenanigans. 

It seems like everything is going pretty well for us, and I hope the same goes for you all as well.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Completely Insanely Busy Life

Well... my life is officially insane. I have a really good excuse for hardly posting at all this month. Seriously.

My day starts at 6:30. Wake up, get dressed, leave for class by 7:00. Class from 7:30-10:30, come home for a very short lunch and leave again by 11:30 to be at work for my first job from 12-5:30. After that I jet over to my second job and work there from 6-11pm. I finally get home around 11:30pm and dawdle a bit before drifting off too sleep. This madness is every Mon-Fri. My body is sooo tired. lol. I spend pretty much all day Sat/Sun resting on the couch.

In other news, I hurt my back at job #1 and am now in almost constant excruciating pain. Go me. The doctor said it's likely some tendon and/or ligament damage in my lower spine. Hurray. Yesterday it was so bad I could barely walk. Lucky for me that meant a day off. lol. I still hurt a lot today and have to leave for work in about 20 mins... still not sure if I feel up to going. If I miss today too though, that's $100 I'm missing out on. Decisions decisions.I've also been diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Which is just great. So now I sleep with a brace on and feel like a big loser, but at least my hand falls asleep far less often now.

Hubbs and I see each other when I get home from work, obviously, and for a brief 20 mins at 7:30 when he brings me dinner at job #2. It's nice, but I feel like in seeing him less, somehow I get more annoyed at the little things when we actually do spend time together. I think that's something I'll have to work on. Like when I get home from my crazy long day and I see that the dishes that have been on the table from 2 days ago are still there... I don't think it's too much to ask that he cleans up a little since he's actually home and I never am. He got all pissy when I brought it up. Oh well. Our apartment can totally be gross and dirty. I'm not really home enough for it to bother me I guess.

School is going pretty well for both of us. I missed a few days due to my stupid spine, but I'm learning pretty quickly. Hubbs is rocking all of his classes as usual, so there's that. On Oct 1st he starts his nannying gig for our nieces and nephew which will be nice. It will mean that 3 days a week we won't get to have dinner together, but that's ok.

We still haven't been to the adoption agency yet. Mostly because my injury and busy schedule means we're only available weekends and I'm pretty sure this one is only open Mon-Fri. Good stuff.

One of my jobs only goes till the end of October, so I'm hoping things will be a bit less hectic then. For now though, I'm trudging along and trying to make the best of things.  Hope things are going well with all of you.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

09/11/01

Today is not usually a day that I talk about much. Some years are better than others. For the most part I still feel angry.

At the time, I was living in New Jersey. I was a senior in high school. My town is about 10 miles across the water from where the World Trade Center was. Sure it takes forever to drive there, but just a short hop as the crow flies. My brother's apartment was about three buildings over from the WTC. About 80% of my family lived in NYC as well. I lived in a commuter town. A huge percentage of the population hopped on the trains and made their way into the city for their jobs. On several occasions my friends and I skipped school to go to the city just for fun.

Luckily, this was not one of those days. It was just a typical school day. We had TV's in most of the classrooms. I was leaving gym and getting ready to go to English. I heard teachers whispering in the halls. When I made it to English, I asked my teacher to turn on the news. There we just sad for hours watching everything unfold. It felt like forever. At one point, without making an announcement, the Principal cut off the feed. We all freaked out and thought that another building had been hit. Bad judgement on her part. My brother came and pulled me out of school a few minutes later. I just sat home with my parents watching the news. Our house sat on a hill. You could see the smoke plume from anywhere in our house. You could even smell it.

They needed volunteers to babysit at the elementary schools, too many parents were trapped in the city and couldn't get home in time to pick up their kids. I went and we just waited and played games with them. Some of their parents never came.

Friends of mine lost parents, I lost neighbors, and our whole community suffered. Houses that lost family members got yellow ribbons tied around trees in their yard.

I always get so angry. Sure I wasn't at the WTC that day, sure I wasn't even in the city. I was close enough. As a community we delt with the aftermath of that day for years.

There was this lookout point one town over. You could see the whole New York skyline. It became an impromptu memorial. People wrote notes, put pictures, stuck in flags, and tied yellow ribbons. My friends and I would go there all the time before... but after it was just transformed into this place where you couldn't escape that day. We used to go there to look optimistically at our futures. Afterwards it was just this constant reminder of that day.

A few weeks later, my friends and I took a day off school and went into the city. We stopped by "ground zero" and walked around. There were fences all around, covered with pictures and trinkets remembering those who had died. Even then, the smell still lingered, the ruins were still smoldering.
 We didn't take pictures that day. It just didn't seem right. I know the day we visited will haunt me forever.

Watching something unfold on tv doesn't have the same impact. When I watch the news, I'm separated from whatever is happening, but when it's something you can see right outside your bedroom window, you can't have that same separation. It's there, in your face. When you know people personally affected, it really hits home.

I hate seeing those "remember" stickers on cars. I really hated those billboards that were everywhere for a while. I'm sure it's even worse for people who were in the city that day, but my first instinct when someone brings up something about 09/11 is that they don't understand, and just need to shut up.

Usually, I take the day off. I don't listen to the radio or watch tv. For the most part I don't even go where there's a chance someone will mention what day it is. Maybe that's weird, but it's the best way I know how to deal with it. It's the best way I know to avoid the possibility of snapping and freaking out on someone who brings it up.