Wednesday, December 31, 2014


Somehow, yet another month managed to run away from me. Time is going by so quickly.

2014 was a pretty amazing year. We had our first child. Bought a house. I turned 30. Got pregnant with baby #2. I really think we grew a lot this year and learned so much. Sure we're still trying to figure out what the heck we want to do with our lives, but we still have time to figure that out.

I'm really looking forward to 2015. We have a lot of big plans. Some of which definitely include actually keeping up with blogging. There are some days I just don't even log on to my computer, which is something I need to remedy.

I wish all of you a wonderful new year and hope to see you around in 2015.

Monday, December 8, 2014


We've announced #2 to our family and friends at this point. I'm still hiding it from work, but we'll tell them once Hubbs and I figure out our plans for the near future.

They've taken it surprisingly well. My mom is still in shock and can't wrap her head around the idea of two grandbabies when she just got her first one. My dad is obnoxiously excited, which is great. We haven't heard from Hubbs' parents yet, but I think they're excited to have i don't even know, grandbaby #9. (Their #8 will arrive 3 months before ours)

His siblings are all happy for us, although they have both said "good luck" about the whole having 2 under 2 thing. We will have the distinction of having children the closest together of all of them, so go us. I think we can handle it. Well, really, we'll just have to figure it out. lol.

I had to turn in my first 24-pee jug. Yes, my old friend is back. Apparently the OB wants to get a baseline, so we know later if my numbers start increasing drastically. I had to do so many of those last time, and I was really hoping to avoid them this time, looks like no such luck. Seriously, terrible, annoying pee jugs. At least this time when I turned it in, the lab tech didn't ask "are you suuuure that's a full 24 hours?" so that's a win.

Tomorrow we have this holiday breakfast for work, Hubbs and I are super excited to stuff our faces full of yummy all-you-can-eat country club buffet goodness. I've been dreaming about Belgian Waffles. If there's a Belgian Waffle station, I'm going to eat like 7 and not even care. So good.

Hubbs and I have been trying to stick to our Paleo/Primal diet. My OB said since I'm so fat, I can just keep losing the whole pregnancy and it won't hurt the baby. Ok, he said it nicer than that, but that's ok. At this point, I'm down 22lbs from just 4 short months ago and feeling pretty great about it. Of course, Hubbs has lost 30, but he had less to lose. I'll beat him eventually. We've been having a few more carbs than we should lately, but overall, we're still eating pretty healthily. Go us!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

10 and 10

Ducky turned 10 months today, and the little nugget is almost 10 weeks. That's pretty darn crazy. We're excited and I'm sleepy, but so far it seems that everything is going well. Hurray!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

OMG Food

What food always makes you feel happy while you're eating it?

Um, how about all of the delicious food? A perfectly hot, melty, slightly crunchy, slice of brick oven made pizza.
Anything that literally makes me do a happy dance when eating it. Sometimes even Taco Bell does the trick. Yes, I realize that's sad.

Over the years, I've wondered if I actually have a bit of a problem with food. In some of my posts previously, I've talked about how I think I started surrounding myself in a protective layer of fat, and that helped me to think that no one would ever physically hurt me again.

Now that I'm older, I think I'm just set in my ways thinking food is amazingly delicious. Sure there are things that I hate, and I prefer to eat food that's actually good. When it's good it is oh so good, but you know, Doritos are good too. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Hubbs' Happy Surprises

Talk about a surprise that made you happy.

Hubbs is generally not a romantic person. He sucks at the whole "wooing" thing. I pursued him the whole time we were dating and he's less than creative when it comes to little gestures for the most part.

There were three times he absolutely knocked my socks off.

1. I'd been having a supremely crappy day and we got into one of our very rare fights. This was back when we were dealing with IF and everything was super crappy.  He'd gone off to go do something and I stayed home mostly crying and pouting. He came home with a HUGE milkshake, because he knows I like a good sweet treat when I'm feeling down.

2. My favorite book is Persuasion by Jane Austen. Cheesy I know. Hubbs is well aware that my favorite part of that book is when Anne reads the letter that Captain Wentworth writes to her. It's awesome. For my birthday one year, he hand-made a card and wrote a very sweet and lovely. Totally made me cry, but in a good way.

3. Hubbs' best friend got married this year. For the bride's bouquet and the groomsmen's boutonnieres, the bride made flowers out of photocopied book pages. Hubbs' was made out of pages of Persuasion. I stayed home with Ducky, so he went to the wedding by himself. He carefully packed the delicate paper rose and brought it back to me as a gift. I still need to find a baseball case or something to display it in. It was awesome.

Monday, December 1, 2014

1st Ultrasound for #2

Well it's official. There's real, live fetus in there. 9 weeks along now and feeling pretty good. Thanksgiving was fun, we visited my family and announced there. Everyone was rather shocked, but it was good. The new baby however apparently hates turkey, so I basically just ate sweet potatoes and cake and pie. So worth it.

What do you do when you're down to bring yourself a little joy?

Back in the day I would pwn some n00bs in Halo multiplayer.  Now I'm more boring and make my almost 10-month old laugh, or sneak in a little kiss on Hubbs' cheek. It seems more and more the things that make me the happiest are bringing happiness to my family.

Occasionally though, I will go ahead and go to a terrible movie by myself. Really bad disaster movies or horror movies are my favorite and I can never get anyone to go with me. It's a nice way to escape the world for a little under/over 2 hours and just forget everything else. It always perks me up.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Books Never Mentioned This...

I just caught my 9.5 month old daughter humping her bottle. Am I supposed to just let her do it, or should I take it away? I'm kind of at a loss on this one. Any pointers? lol.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Free Lunch

When I was in college, I had no trouble going places by myself, movies, dinner, it didn't matter. I found it easier than finding someone who actually wanted to see what I wanted to see, or eat where I wanted to eat. It was not unusual to find me alone on a weekday eating lunch in a restaurant with a good book.

On this particular day, I was dining by myself at Olive Garden reading Persuasion for the 20th time,  someone decided to pay for my lunch. They included a little card, some sort of "come to church" thing with a little quote about how I was loved.

At the time, I was super insulted, and thought it meant I must have looked like some lonely weirdo, and this person must have felt so badly for me, thinking I had no one in my life. Even though technically, that was true. Maybe I looked too much into it. Now, about 6 years later. I see it as just a kind gesture. Making someone who perhaps really did feel very alone, not so alone.

There are those moments in life, where sometimes someone who is at the end of their rope and about to take that leap just needs one person, just one to be nice to them. To smile, to say hello, to make them feel like there is just one person in the world who noticed them, even if just for a moment. Sometimes knowing someone cared can make a world of difference.

I try most days if I can, to say one nice thing, or do something small for someone else. If it's reaching out to a friend I haven't heard from in a while, or smiling and greeting an elderly stranger in the store. You just never know when that small little moment can help someone when they need it most.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Game On

Hubbs is exremely excited for World of Warcraft's new expansion, Warlords of Draenor, which launches tonight. He even went to bed at 7:30 so he can wake up at 1am and play for a bit, go back to sleep, and not be a complete zombie at work tomorrow. It's an impressive level of dedication to a video game. If you are unfamiliar with World of Warcraft, see the awesome trailer for the new game below.

Hubbs and I actually met playing World of Warcraft. Different things in our lives brought us to the game, but somehow, among dozens of servers, and 2 different factions, we managed to find each other. I'm always extremely amazed with the random happenstances that had to occur for us to meet.

I like that it's something we can do together and also enjoy separately. There really is something for everyone in the game. Whether you play seriously or just for fun. I actually have an idea for a WoW YouTube series, but I'll actually have to have time to dedicate to it and see if it's as hilarious as I think it will be.

I am a firm believer that the family that plays together, stays together. We also love board games and play both console and table top games often. It gives us a chance to unwind and goof around. Some games are extremely stressful (I'm looking at you Pandemic), but overall, it's very fun. Hubbs and I are both very competitive, so we tend to do better in cooperative games, but it is equally as fun to try to destroy each other every once in a while.

If you're ever looking for some table top game fun, but don't have a table big enough, you can always watch TableTop on Geek & Sundry's YouTube Channel. I absolutely love the show, and our game collection has grown significantly since I started watching.

There's actually a game store near us that will let you test out and rent table top games. It's an awesome way to really take the game for a test drive and see if you like it. Perhaps a store near you also allows rentals.

Some of our go-to games include:

Fluxx (any version)
Forbidden Island

I've been dying to try a few new games including:
Castle Ravenloft (a Dungeons and Dragons game)
Ticket to Ride

We also like the simple stuff like Pass the Pigs, Yahtzee, Phase 10, etc.

We might pick up the WoW trading card game, since Hubbs finally found all of his old cards. I sucked at Magic the Gathering in high school/college, and I'm sure I'll suck at the WoW game too.

We've been neglecting my shiny Halo 3 special edition Xbox 360, it's kind of on the fritz. Halo was a HUUUUUGE part of my life.

How about you? Are there any games that you love to play as a family?

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Prompt Post #1

If you could permanently get rid of one worry, what would it be?

I tend to not worry. Even when Hubbs and I were dirt poor, had literally $2 in our bank account and were a day away from getting evicted from our first apartment we shared together. I didn't worry, and knew that everything would work out ok. I have a reckless optimism when it comes to believing that things will work out in life.

For some reason though, I can't seem to translate that optimism to a pregnancy. I don't know if it's because it took us so long to get pregnant in the first place, but the entire time I was pregnant with Ducky, I couldn't let myself enjoy it. I would go a day, maybe two, and then that little negative voice would start nagging me, telling me that something could go wrong, that things weren't just going to work out and be OK.

I wish I could get rid of that voice. This time around, I hear it creep back every once in a while. So far, I've known I've been pregnant for 15 days. In that 15 days I've heard more of that negative voice than anything else. It didn't help that my dating ultrasound put me at least 2 weeks behind where my LMP says I should be. This time, I want to shut that voice up. I want to be able to enjoy this experience. I have another 15 days before my next dating/viability ultrasound. In that time, I will endeavor to silence that voice. I will dwell on names, and come up with a middle name to go with the girl name I love. Figure out which middle name/first name combo for a boy, and every time I hear that little voice try to creep up and whisper in my ear. I'm going to tell it to shut the hell up and instead of listening to it, I'll talk to the baby instead.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Time Ticks By

I find myself wishing time would go by faster. I want it to be the 26th, so I can have my second dating ultrasound and hopefully actually see a heartbeat this time. I want it to be the 27th so we can announce to my family that Ducky is going to be a big sister. I want it to be Christmas, because I freaking LOVE Christmas. It's also nice that Hannukkah ends on Christmas Eve this year. Very thrilling when they overlap.

I wish time would slow down! Ducky is growing so fast. She can almost crawl, she can definitely propel herself in the direction she wishes to go. She can pull herself up to stand. She hugs and smiles and thinks it's funny to tug on my ears. In 3 short months we're going to transition her to a toddler bed and make her room a bit Montessori-styled. I want to enjoy these 7-8-ish months with her as an only child and watch her grow and learn and become more independent. She doesn't need Mommy and Daddy all the time anymore. When we get home from work, she manages so stay awake for about an hour before she's just too tuckered out to stay up. Weekends with her are so precious.

We have so many big upcoming plans that we're excited for. Hubbs might join the military. We're planning on refinancing our house. We want to turn the under-stairs storage room into a playroom for Ducky. We want to put grass on a portion of our back patio so Gibbs will actually poop in the backyard.

I guess instead of wishing time would speed up or slow down, I could just enjoy every day. Relish in those Ducky cuddles, remember her lopsided toothy smiles. Kiss Hubbs just because, let Gibbs cuddle on my belly (because he totally knows what's up). Love my little family and our home that we've made for ourselves and just remember to be happy.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Just Another Sunday

I spent most of today catching up on TV and caring for a fussy baby. She is starting to get frustrated because she can't make her body move the way she wants it to. She occasionally gets a leg stuck under herself while transitioning from sitting to her little army crawl, and she gets mad about it.

In the mornings now, when we go in to get her ready for the day, instead of laying down and scratching at the sides of her pack-n-play, she's sitting up and playing with her binky. It's pretty crazy. She is such a little person now and it still amazes us every day.

Tonight for dinner I made meatball parmesan and creamed spinach and kale. I'd spent all day making the tomato sauce from scratch, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

Tomorrow starts the first stage of part one of my promotion, then Thursday, part one will kick in fully. It's a little daunting, but I think I'm ready. Probably... we'll see.

I hope all of you had a great weekend. Is it just me, or is November going by really quickly for anyone else? We only have 2.5 weeks until Thanksgiving, that is crazy talk!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Lazy Day

I'd like to say that I did things today, but that would mostly be a lie. Ducky was super fussy and refused to nap. I think she knows something is up. I did manage to make braised lamb chops and pumpkin/sweet potato/squash gnocchi, but most of that was during the 30 minutes she actually fell asleep. I prepped the stuff for the gnocchi and she woke up, sad as ever. Poor little one. I really think her teeth are just kicking her butt.

She's figured out how to do this half army crawl, half launch herself forward thing. It's really cute. Apparently trying to catch the dog was all of the motivation she needed.

I was insanely tired today, and still am. When Hubbs got home from work, I thought about taking a nap, but there was too much to do. Tomorrow on his "watch football with the baby all day" day, perhaps I'll sneak in a nap.

Friday, November 7, 2014

9 Months already?!

Our little Ducky had her 9 month checkup today. That is completely crazy to me. It's also crazy to me that in less than 9 months, we'll be having another baby, but that's beside the point.

After worrying so much about her growth in the beginning, it's so nice to go to a checkup and hear that she's growing excellently.

She still has a tiny head, around 39th percentile, weight 55th, and height a whopping 81st! Hopefully she keeps growing like a little string bean and is tall like us. lol.

She's been rocking a fever still and is so miserable from teething that she whimpers and cries in her sleep. It's so sad. Tylenol seems to be helping a bit, so that's good.

I'm looking forward to relaxing all weekend. Next week is a big week at work, starting Thursday, I'll begin my new job title. A little scared and nervous, but excited. I'm sure it will be fine. Lots of new and exciting things brewing over here, that's for sure.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Dating Ultrasound

I went to my dating ultrasound today and I'm pretty disappointed. Apparently instead of being 7 weeks along (based on LMP), I'm actually closer to 4.5, the doctor found a gestational sac, but it was really too small to see much. Apparently though it is right on track for how far along he thinks I am. He said with my long and unpredictable cycles that he's really not worried and to come back in 2-3 weeks for another one.

We decided to schedule it 3 weeks from now, right before we leave for Vegas for Thanksgiving. This way, we can be pretty sure that I'll be far enough along to see something, good or bad. It's been a little over a week and a half since I got my BFP, so it must have just been the absolute earliest I could have gotten a positive. He pretty much just said, pretend like you're not pregnant, and don't worry about it. We'll just wait and see in a few weeks. I think this is a good idea. It would be a lot easier if I didn't get RLP every time I stand up from my desk, and random bouts of nausea hit me, but I shall try my best.  I'm going to try to stay positive about it and not think the worst. There was only 1 sac though, so that ruins my fun of thinking our last pregnancy would be twins. Well, it rules out fraternal twins anyway. Fingers crossed for identical!! (So not happening, but it's ok. Two is a fine number of total kids for us)

At work, we found out our insurance is changing in January. Luckily, the OB's office I've chosen takes both. Unfortunately, our deductible will double, and our monthly premium will go up by $100/mo. So that's fun. No one at the office is happy about it, but it's all good, because corporate gave us all coupons for free 16lb turkeys.... that makes it ALL better....

Ducky has her 9-month check-up tomorrow. We're excited to see how much she's grown. She is absolutely growing like a weed! At daycare, we dropped off a new can of formula (the regular can size for powder), and she already needs a new one for tomorrow. She went through a whole can in FOUR DAYS!! That is crazy. She's also rocking the 12-month clothes pretty well, which is shocking. She's skinny, but so tall! She also has a bit of a fever today, I think it's mostly from the 2 new teeth that are coming in. She's got 5 that are mostly out, and 2 more coming in. Poor little thing.

Hubbs and I went to a military recruiter today. We have an active duty friend who came with us and helped with questions. Hubbs is very interested and it seems like an excellent opportunity for him and for our family. We'll make a decision about it within the next few weeks. Hopefully, we could time things so that he'd be finished with basic training just as the baby is going to be born. If he decides to join, of course.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Ultrasound Tomorrow

I bumped up my ultrasound to tomorrow, with needing Progesterone supplements super early on last time, and my stupidly long and irregular cycles, it seemed like a good idea to get blood work and a dating ultrasound out of the way. Last time I had all of the fun of being high risk at the end of my pregnancy, I'm really hoping to avoid it all together this time around. Supposedly your chances of developing Pre-eclampsia the second time around is less when you have them back-to-back. We'll have to wait and see.

I'm nervous and excited. I'm just really hoping I'm far enough along that we can actually see a heartbeat and know for sure that this one is actually viable. Hubbs is going to come along, somewhat for support and mostly because it means he gets to go to work an hour later.

I'm trying out a different Dr's office this time. They have midwives as well as doctors. I would have to deliver at a different hospital, but it's really not that bad. I hear good things about that one. Sure it's a little further from our house, but still less than a 20 min drive away. I liked the experience I had last time, but I figure it can't hurt to give another office a try. They both follow the "rotating doctor" model, so it really doesn't matter who I see.

Wish us luck! I really just hope the visit alleviates a lot of my worry and fears. Last time, it did the opposite, but I'm optimistic about this time around.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Work Update

Things have been going great at work. I shall provide a little rundown/breakdown for new readers.

I found out I was pregnant with Ducky shortly after starting work at Job A.
Massive layoffs a few months later, survived the first round. Applied for Job B and Job C to be safe
Get interview and job offer for Job C.
Leverage Job C offer to Job A. Get verbal promise for raise and promotion. 
Decide to stay at Job A.
2 weeks later, even bigger layoffs, did not make it. Laid off at 5 months pregnant.
Put on bed-rest shortly thereafter.
Get interview and testing for Job B.
Pass background screening for Job B and get offer to start whenever I want after Ducky is born.
Start Job B when Ducky was 6 weeks old.
Job A calls begging me to come back. I string them along for a while making them up their offer until it's worth it for me to leave awesome Job B.
Return to Job A.

I've been back at Job A for 3 months now. I'm almost done with my licensing to become a Loan Officer. Even though I'm only getting promoted to Loan Processor, the company decided they wanted all of the Processors licensed so we could discuss rates and other fun things with borrowers.

My promotion should be completed by February. So I'm just learning the last few bits now. My new title involves a significant pay raise and the fun addition of bonuses, so I'm really looking forward to that.

Now the snag. I am TERRIFIED to tell them I'm pregnant again. They laid me off in the middle of the last one, and while the timing of it turned out to be a good thing, I really don't want to go through that again. Hubbs was super stressed and worried how we were going to afford everything. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep this one a secret until my belly gets so huge that it's incredibly obvious. Hubbs will keep working through my maternity leave, but when I go back to work, he will leave and stay home with the kiddos. It doesn't make financial sense for us to pay for 2 kids in daycare.

It would be nice if they'd let me work from home, since Hubbs would be there with me taking care of the munchkins. Sometimes they let people do it, we'll see if I can persuade them when the time is right.

I really don't know. To tell, not to tell. Management really is awesome and was extremely supportive last time with Dr's appointments and letting me take extra sick time. I just really don't want to risk that my promotion will be jeopardized. It's not like there's anyone else up for it, it's guaranteed to be mine. I will of course give them ample time to plan for my absence. Maybe I'll just wait till 20 weeks. I doubt I'll be able to play off the bump as me just getting fatter around the middle for much longer than that.

Any ideas? Positive or Negative experiences telling employers? It would be nice to hear other people's experiences whether good or bad. 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Baby Names

It's funny, with our first, we couldn't agree on a boy name. We had a girl name picked out that we liked for years before we even started trying to have kids. Ducky turned out to be a girl, so naming was rather easy.

This time around, we're having a bit more trouble. I want to get cracking and really narrow it down to our top choices. Hubbs is like "um, we have months to figure that out. I don't even want to think about it until 2015" BAAAAAH.

Luckily, he hasn't shot down any of the names that I love. I'm trying to convince him that one I like would make a better first name than middle name, but he's really not having it. I just want to settle on one boy name and one girl name. Then, when we find out what we're having, all of the hard work is over.

My first prenatal appointment feels so far away. It would just be so nice to get in there and see that we're actually having a real baby, a wiggling little jumping bean. Alas, waiting and waiting. Symptoms seem fine so far. Occasional nausea, some cramps, and the rare backache. Headaches are few and far between, nowhere near as terrible as last time. I'm trying to remember when morning sickness kicked in last time. I want to say it was much closer to the 2nd trimester and that I was fine before that. We'll just have to wait and see. Since we are planning to have this be our last, I just want to savor the experience and really try to enjoy being pregnant. Last time, it was not as fun, especially towards the end. It'd be nice if things were more relaxed this time.

This whole daylight savings thing messed us up today. Ducky still woke up at her usual time, but now when it feels like it should be super late and time for bed, it's just way too early. Although, I am pregnant, so I can just say to hell with it and go to bed anyway. So tempting. 

Saturday, November 1, 2014

I Have Been Neglecting You

Poor little blog, I have been neglecting you! I didn't even check to see how long it has been since I posted, I'm pretty sure I posted something after our little bundle of awesome was born. Man I really suck.

The kiddo is great, she'll be 9 months this week and babbles a lot, rolls herself around the room, and can pull herself to a standing position. If she's laying down, she can't sit up all the way though. She tries so hard... it's adorable. She is also getting so incredibly BIG! For the longest time, up until she was a little over 6 months, she was in 0-3 month clothes. In the last 3 months, she's jumped all the way up to 12-month clothes. WHAT?! She is just growing like crazy!

Since I've been gone, I got a job, left that job to go back to my old job, got a promotion, bought a house, traded in our old car, had our 4th wedding anniversary, and turned 30. Overall I'd say we did pretty well.

Hubbs and I had been trying to get pregnant again pretty much immediately after Ducky was born. We got the Dr's OK at my 6-week post-partum visit, and had been trying ever since. Supposedly, you're extra fertile right after having a baby. It just was not happening for us. Not at all. Finally, on my 30th birthday, after about 6 months of actively trying, I got my BFP!

Our first prenatal appointment is in a little over 2 weeks, which I found surprising considering all the problems last time with my progesterone levels and things, but we'll see. While we are a little scared of the idea of having 2 under 2, we are extremely amazed and excited that we were even able to get pregnant again at all. This little one and Ducky will be about 16 months apart. So glad we upgraded our car to one with a few more seats and a lot more trunk space.

I'll try to post as much as I can. It will mostly be a weekly weekend post. Thankfully, I have a normal work schedule now, but I'll have the most time to post in depth on weekends.  I guess I'll try to do a short little daily snippet, or random thought of the day or photo. I will try to come back to NaBloPoMo strong!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

New Job #1177

This week I started what is hopefully my last job ever. I have a salary, I have full benefits, and they offer retirement after 20 years. As someone who has worked part-time, or switched jobs every few months, the fact that I've landed in a career is completely and utterly magical.

I work 12 hour shifts, 3 days a week. It kind of sucks being away from Ducky for that long. When I get home, I'm sure to give her a good cuddle. It was funny, yesterday, the minute I came home and started talking to Hubbs, she heard my voice, and started crying until Hubbs handed her to me.

I'm only 2 days in to training, a process that is going to take 6 months to complete entirely, and I can already tell that I am going to be good at this. So hurray for that!

It's actually pretty great, Hubbs' boss is being really laid back, and is letting him take off the days that I work. So he stays home with Ducky on my work days, and I stay home with her on his. I still need to work the whole sleep thing out, because by the time I get home, it's almost time to go to bed so I can get up early enough for work. I'm really curious to see what happens when I switch to graves because then Hubbs will be at work in the day, and I'll work at night. Basically our "sleep time" will also be "take care of baby time". Hopefully by then she'll be sleeping for longer stretches and it will be more manageable.

In other news, breastfeeding as totally and epically failed. I'm OK with it honestly. Formula is easier and faster. We just got off to such a rough start that I think we never really had a chance. My supply suffered and I tried everything to boost it, but nothing worked. Now I know just to do everything possible in the beginning next time. Hopefully then we don't have a jaundice-y, failure to gain, lazy sucking baby. Assuming of course we're lucky enough to even have another one. lol.

And that's my queue. More updates later!

Saturday, February 22, 2014

We're Parents!

On 2/3/14 I'd noticed that my feet/ankles had gotten way fatter than they'd been looking. I chalked it up to just being further along in the pregnancy. That evening, the swelling still hadn't gone down and I decided to check my blood pressure for fun. It was about 180/120, so Hubbs and I decided to take a trip to the hospital to get checked out. We checked in at 11:30pm. By midnight, they told us that we'd be having a baby that day.  Thank you pre-eclampsia...

Emergency inductions are fun. They started Cyotec at 1am, twelve hours later they started the pitocin and broke my water. I progressed about a centimeter an hour until 4pm. This is the point where I begged for the epidural. At 5pm I was at 10 cm. and almost ready. I spiked a fever at this point so they started antibiotics. After about twenty minutes of pushing and some oxygen, she was born.

They were a little worried about her lungs, so she went to the NICU for an hour or so and was put on a CPAP machine to help them along. Hubbs went with her while they fixed me up. Two days later, we went home.

After a few days home, she was diagnosed with jaundice and needed photo-therapy. Luckily, we were able to do it at home. She really was not a huge fan of the lights, but took it like a champ. We had to take her to get a blood test every day, but we got the all clear after four days. She'd also lost 12% of her birth weight, so we had to wake her up every 2 hours to feed her. By her 1 week appointment, she still hadn't gained enough, so the pediatrician put her on a high calorie formula. Now she's finally a little ways past her birth weight and seems to be gaining well.

We're all happy, healthy, and a little tired, but are loving the time we get to spend together learning how to be a family of three. 

Monday, February 3, 2014

Fat Feet

Well, I almost made it to 38 weeks before my feet/ankles grew in to monsters. I could totally see my ankles until late last night, and then they puffed up and went away. Why yes, that is as close as I could manage to wedge my monstrous extremities together without serious pelvic pain.

Goodness my toes look like overstuffed sausages. Good times.  I mean they're not quite fully "cankle status" because there's still a slight narrowing in the calf, but it's just bad. My flip flops don't even really fit anymore. In other news, I've been having annoying contractions since yesterday. They're still not painful and ranging from 7.5-4.5 minutes apart. This basically means nothing at this point. Since I've been having contractions so often, I have to wait until they become too painful or my water breaks to go into L&D.

There is some good news, my labs cam back negative for Cholestasis which means no induction for me this week. A part of me is slightly bummed about that though, it would be nice just to have this baby already. Hopefully she'll come on her own on Friday, our "half-iversary" (aka 6 months from our anniversary). Plus it would be a fun number nerd birthday 02/07/14 because 2x7=14. See, nerdy goodness.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Two Week Wait v. 2.0

When dealing with IF and struggling to get pregnant, your life is consumed by 2 Week Waits. You wait patiently for your positive OPK's or charting your temps to indicate the big "O" date. You get busy with some sexy time and then you have yet another 2 Week Wait for that BFP or more commonly BFN and start the cycle all over again. 

I'm going to call the next 2 weeks, the 2 Week Wait version 2.0, because we have about 2 weeks to go until my "due date". I put that in quotes because this entire time, Dr's have been absolutely 100% convinced we were never actually going to make it that far. My BP was all misbehaving starting around 28 weeks, but it's finally calmed down. Now I'm waiting for my blood work to check for cholestasis, which if positive, means induction next week.

All the while though, I'm just sitting here, hoping to just go into labor the good old fashioned way. Maybe if I trick myself into thinking the baby won't be here till March, I can just relax and every day won't drag on endlessly. It seriously feels like time couldn't go any slower if it tried, but something tells me it could be worse. lol.

Everything is ready and I think we're pretty good to go. My parents are super excited and can't wait to come up here. I'm not sure how long they'll be able to stay because the both have work stuff, but it will be nice for them to visit their first grandchild. I don't know what they're planning on doing up here though. You what, see the baby for like 5 minutes and go "aww soo cute" and then head on your merry way, right? I wish! I was hoping we would get some time to just bond as a family and figure things out before visitors came. It will be nice if they bring us food and clean our apartment though, that would be super helpful. I am certain my mom's OCD will kick in and she'll feel the need to clean the heck out of everything. Not to mention her Jewish mother-ness will kick in and she'll insist that we're not eating enough food, or don't have enough food, and they will have to go grocery shopping for us. That part will be fun.

I really don't know what to expect over the next month. Visitors, yes. A whole new family member, yes. Hubbs' and my world is about to change so drastically, and maybe I'm in denial, but I'm not worried. I really think we're going to be alright.

Friday, January 31, 2014

37.5 Week Belly Update

Had my check up and weekly NST yesterday. Ducky is still looking good. Her head is waaaay down which adds an awesome amount of pelvic pressure, but it's all good.

They took some blood and they're sending it off to test for Cholestasis because I've been itching like crazy. If the tests come back elevated, it looks like I'll have to be induced next week. I'm not sure which I'm hoping for at this point.

I'm seriously struggling to find things to occupy my time. I can only sit at my desk for so long before my butt/hips start to kill me. So I go lounge on the couch or lie down in bed. Last night I was so uncomfortable trying to get to sleep. I found one position that didn't involve constant pain, so that was nice. I tried to stay like that forever. lol.

I know Ducky can stand to cook for a good while longer, but I am still hoping she comes a teeny bit early. I'm honestly shocked and amazed we made it to February. Well, unless something very exciting happens in the next 10 hours, I'm pretty sure we're making it to February. I know it's totally selfish, but I really hope she's not born on Tuesday. The 4th is my mother's birthday and I would honestly HATE it if they shared a birthday. Mostly because of my past with my mother, but still. I think it would be fun if she's born on the 7th, because that will be 6 months from Hubbs' and my anniversary. Plus I think it'll be easy to remember.

I know, babies will come when they want though, so I'll just be here, trying to distract myself from the seemingly endless wait.

In the mean time, here's my ever-growing belly...

Monday, January 27, 2014

Lack of Blogging

I'm just so tired. Honestly, nothing exciting happens. lol. Every day is the same. I wake up, goof around online for an hour or so, stream stuff, eat, nap, stream more stuff, occasionally play WoW, and go to bed. Rinse, repeat. It's getting pretty monotonous.

We'll hit the 37 week mark tomorrow, so I'll be sure to post a belly pic of that. I really hope I don't have to put up with 3 more weeks of "any day now". Next Dr's appointment is Thursday and I'm seriously tempted to just ask to be induced at 39 weeks so we at least have a definitive deadline. The idea of going OVER my due date is horrifying at this point.

Hubbs is still sweet and awesome and continues to be lovely. So I've got that going for me. Gibbs is a little love sponge and is super attentive and cuddly. I'm feeling pretty ready to have this kid. I'm sure it's going to be ridiculously hard, but rewarding, and it has to be way better than just waiting around for it to happen. At least once she pops out we have someone to fawn over and remember that the past 9 months were worth it.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Sleep Time

Seriously, I am so tired all of the time. I go to bed around 10 or 11-ish and wake up around 3:30 -4. Eventually, I fall back to sleep after an hour or so and wake up around 10 or 11. I still feel the need for a nap in the middle of the day.

I've still been having contractions on and off and while they feel like they've definitely gotten stronger, they're far more sporadic and irregular. I seriously have no idea what to expect when real labor finally happens. These past two weeks of false labor have been kicking my ass. If the 5-1-1 rule doesn't work, then what will?!

In other news, Hubbs is leaving shortly to pick us up some donuts, because even though it's late, I am craving them something fierce. Donuts and like, and entire gallon of milk. Sounds totally amazing right now. I just have to stay awake long enough to eat them. lol.

My parents are prepping for their trip up here. Apparently they're going to rent a car and drive up and just hang out in a hotel. I want to wait a while before we allow visitors, but they're planning on driving up once I'm in labor. If they want to sit around bored in a hotel room, that's totally fine I suppose. I think having visitors in the hospital is weird, so we're just going to wait until we're home to allow it. I kind of wish we could get away with a week of bonding and just figuring out a schedule and stuff, but that's a little too much to ask for. Oh well.

Filling out this background check packet is seriously hard. List every single job you've ever had over the last 10 years... for some people, maybe that list isn't so long, but for me, it's a lot. I was excited when I calculated I was only waiting for 4 W2's this year. That's far better than last year's 6 in my opinion. Hopefully I can say I only have 1 for 2014. That would be nice. Everyone is very convinced I'll pass all of the tests, but I'm not so sure. A lie detector and a psych profile are scary things to think about. I know the trick is "don't lie" and "go with your gut answer" for each, but it's still scary.

February is almost here. I've become increasingly aware that this kid could seriously pop out any day now and I'm really not freaking out. I kind of just want her to get here already and I still have 4 weeks to go until the due date. At least my OB still thinks I'm not making it that far, so it's kind of nice to know she'll likely be born before that.

The biggest news in our house from this week though, is that the Seahawks are going to the Super Bowl. Hubbs could not be more excited. Watching the game on Sunday was incredibly intense and it was definitely not good for my BP. Maybe the baby will be good and decide to stay in until after the game, but who knows. Hubbs still wants her to be born the day the Seahawks win the Super Bowl, maybe he'll get lucky.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

35 Week NST

Ducky rocked her NST today, which was nice. I felt like she'd been kind of lazy in the morning, of course she picked right up once the monitors were on. She really hates those things.

I had a few hours of contractions today, but nothing too major. The worst part is the excruciating hip/tailbone pain that pops up when I try to walk around. It's getting pretty old. If I try to sit up in a chair for too long it gets way worse. Once I spend a few hours lying down it goes away, so at least I know how to fix it.

Remember that interview I mentioned the other day? Awesomely, I've got a conditional offer of employment! Hurray! They gave me my background check packet and after I pass that, then there's a polygraph, a psych test, and a hearing test. If I pass all of that then I've got a shiny new career. A job with a real salary! I've been waiting forever for that! They're willing to be flexible on my start date as well, so that is a huge perk. I am completely over the moon about it. Filling out the background check packet did a number on me today, I'm almost done, but have to somehow magically recall every single job I've had in the last 10 years... it's going to be rather challenging considering there were a few jobs I held for about a week, one only a day and I never got paid for them either.

I knew 2014 was going to be a good year, and it's looking like I'm going to be right about that. YAY!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Bowling Ball

I'm not sure who mysteriously replaced my pelvis with a bowling ball in the middle of the night... but seriously... make it stop. Even walking sucks now. I haven't been able to roll over in bed without pain for a while, but I could at least mostly walk.

In other news, I think my job interview went pretty well. Out of the 5 original candidates, they've narrowed it down to 3. So I have a one in three chance of getting the job. I was also the first interview of the day, which makes me think I was the top pick. That's probably all in my head though. I'll hear next week if they want to shell out the cash to background check me. Apparently it costs them between $1000-$1500 to complete the process, so they really want to be sure. Here's to hoping!

Now that the interview is out of the way, I can just sit here and worry about when this baby is going to choose to pop out. I'm glad they stopped my labor on Sunday, and apparently going into preterm labor doesn't guarantee that I'll go into labor early. If my BP keeps acting up though, it's likely I'll be induced sometime between 37-39 weeks anyway. I guess now I just need to relax and hope that she cooks for as long as she needs to to avoid a NICU stay.

Monday, January 13, 2014

PTL Scare

I was 34 weeks, 5 days yesterday. I woke up at 4:30am with cramping. I took some tylenol, grabbed some water, and chilled in bed on my left side. They kept up for 2 hours. Eventually, I fell asleep and when I woke up at 10:30am, I was still cramping and had some pressure. They weren't really timable, but after my last visit, the Dr said to go in if I had cramping for more than 3 hours.
The cramping wouldn't go away and the pressure got worse, eventually it felt like stabbing in my cervix with every cramp. I gave in and went to L&D. I let DH stay home because I thought I'd be home in an hour or so, just like the Christmas Eve L&D visit.

They hooked me up and it turns out I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes. They monitored me for a while, swabbed for Group B strep, took a urine sample via catheter (which was absolutely terrible), and checked my cervix. I was fingertip dilated but not effaced, so that's nice.

The contractions kept going and several hours later, the Dr decided since I wasn't quite 35 weeks yet, they'd try to stop my labor. I called DH at this point and told him to snag a ride down to the hospital. I would be there for at least a few more hours and in the event labor didn't stop or they needed to go to the next step to stop labor, I wouldn't be able to drive myself home. Plus it was nice having him around for support. They gave me 3 doses of something in pill form, I forget what it was called, one every half hour. It's scary to think that had I been 2 days further along, they would have just let me labor, eeeek.

It helped space my contractions to about 4-5 minutes apart. Luckily, the contractions didn't change my cervix any further. Since it didn't stop them all together, they decided to give me some morphine and something that also makes you sleepy and stops nausea, which apparently can also tell your uterus to chill the f*ck out. I didn't have any more contractions after the morphine shot and they sent me home just 7 short hours after checking in.

Definitely a little nerve-wracking to think that my body is already trying to get this baby out. The Dr said the next time it happens, they're not going to bother trying to stop labor, so really, it could be any day now. Send the sticky vibes this way if you can. Right from the beginning, my Dr knew I wasn't going to make it to 40 weeks, but I'm definitely hoping LO stays in there a bit longer, preferably after my job interview Tuesday. With the full moon Thursday though, I don't know how much longer she'll stay in there. Wish us luck!

The morphine did not make me sleepy, it just gave me a devil of a headache, extreme thirst, and a super dry mouth. In a way it was nice, because I didn't wake up to a huge drool puddle, but I did wake up every 15 minutes needing a drink. Mental note, if they offer morphine during labor, say no! I spent most of today feeling groggy and luckily tylenol took care of the headache. There was definitely a lot of napping involved.

I have my 2nd job interview tomorrow for this job I really want. Here's to hoping it goes well. Mostly I'm just hoping that my water doesn't break in the middle of it. lol. 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Family Date Night

Tonight we're heading out to our favorite Chinese buffet with Hubbs' sister and her family. After that, we're going to Hubbs' eldest sister's house for game night. We pretty much figured we should get all of our socializing out of the way now, since who knows when this baby is going to decide to pop out.

My Dr is going to start doing cervical checks at 36 weeks. Apparently because my uterus is a bit irritable and also because this baby is HUUUUGE. No one at this point believes we'll make it all the way to 40 weeks.

Tomorrow involves a trip to Buffalo Wild Wings (aka BW3's) to watch the Seahawks game. Hubbs is a die hard Seahawks fan and every game we've watched from BW3's they've won. So clearly, there is no question that's where we need to watch this game.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Normal BP What?

My BP was normal at my appointment today! It was magical! I still have to go in for NST's once a week, but I don't have another Dr's appointment until 36 weeks. I didn't even have to take home a pee jug! Seriously, best Dr's visit ever.

Ducky is still measuring big and my amniotic fluid is normal, but on the higher edge of normal. She passed her NST and was super active the whole time. It was a major pain trying to get her to stay on the monitor.

I've still been having some contractions. The Dr said to call if they are 10 minutes apart for 3 hours. That's much better than the 4 an hour. Now that I'm close enough to the due date, they're not as worried about PTL I guess.

A lot of the baby stuff is set up and ready to go, all Hubbs needs to do is a few loads of laundry now. It's all coming together and it feels pretty great. Sure I hurt and I can't do stuff, but knowing that the end is near makes it all just feel... awesome. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

34 Week Belly Update

Here's my 34 week belly. Somehow I convince myself that my belly isn't that big, and then I take a picture and I'm like, oh... yes it is. lol.

Tomorrow we have an appointment to get our car seat installed and learn how to do it ourselves. Our car has LATCH and I think it's flat enough in the middle to put it in the middle with the special seat belt in there. She'll hopefully tell us where the safest spot is.

In the evening I've got my breastfeeding class. I'm a little nervous about that because I think I have flat nipples. They also get annoyingly hard at times, not sure how well breastfeeding works with hard nips. I'll be the one asking all of the weird questions, go me.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Dexter Marathon

Hubbs and I have been marathoning Dexter over the last few days. We're already up to season 3. lol.

I got a callback for that job I interviewed for a few weeks ago. I'm really excited. At the initial interview, they mentioned the 2nd interview would involve meeting the head honcho and filling out the background check paperwork. I'm really hoping that's the case, because that means as long as everything comes back clear, I've basically got the job. So I'll be doing my 2nd interview 35 weeks pregnant. Ducky better stay in there until after the interview.
Stay tuned tomorrow for the 34 week belly pic.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Sushi Date and Sleep

Hubbs and I had a sushi date night tonight, which was awesome. I use the term "night" loosely because we got to the restaurant at around 4:30. I was hungry. lol. I think the main problem with this is now it's 8pm and I'm totally ready for bed. I woke up a bit earlier than usual and didn't take my daily nap. Oh well, I am a grown woman, I can go to bed at 8:30pm if I want, no one can stop me. Muahahaha.

I had to drop off my labs today. Yet another 24 hour pee jug that I barely filled up enough. When I turned it in, the lab lady was like "this is the full 24 hours?!". Good stuff. They took some blood and I should get the results back Monday. It's annoying doing this every two weeks, but I know it's for the best.

Next week starts the weekly visits and the NST's. I also have a breastfeeding class and my appointment to have the car seat installed. Hurray for that. Especially since it seems like we'll be needing that car seat sooner rather than later.

I also finally got Hubbs to move the last of his boxes into the closet, so the "baby area" of our bedroom is mostly ready. Now we have a place to put all of the clothes he has to wash. lol. It's weird getting everything set up and ready, it makes it all seem so much more real. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Due Date Change and Weekly Visits.

My due date got bumped up to Feb 18th because my Dr's office finally got a hold of my 1st trimester ultrasound. This puts me about 2 weeks further along than they had in their records. Eek.

I got to take home yet another jug of doom, but magically, I didn't have trace protein in my urine sample at the office AND my BP was semi-decent for once. 134/89 which I'm pretty sure is the lowest it's been this entire pregnancy. I am now however, going in every week and doing a weekly NST since my BP is a bit wonky still. Hopefully I'll still only have to do the jug and blood work every two weeks, but I'm not so sure.

They are still very convinced that there is no way I'm making it to my new due date. We'll see. I think it would be cool to have the baby on Groundhog's Day, but I guess that's up to Ducky. At this point, they're keeping an eye on things just in case and overall making me feel very comfortable. I've got to keep up with the modified bed rest and continue doing what I'm doing.

Last night I had some pretty annoying contractions. They lasted for about two hours and never really got frequent, but certainly hurt a bit more than last time with some radiating pain into my back and down my thighs. If it happens again and I clock more than 6-8 an hour I get to take another trip to Labor and Delivery. Wheee.

I'm also rocking a vicious cold that I think I caught from Hubbs' eldest sister's family. The runny nose part has gotten better but the cough is kicking my ass. Tylenol cold is my new best friend. At least I'm only waking up about once a night though, so that is a win in my book.

There's still so much we have to do before Ducky gets here. The part that sucks is that Hubbs pretty much has to do all of it since I can't lift anything or help too much. Mostly just straightening up, cleaning, and putting away the boxes that we still haven't bothered with since we moved in here in August.  We set up the crib and I sorted Ducky's clothes into bags my size. All of the 0-3 and 3-6 month stuff is ready to be washed, Hubbs just has to get to it. I think realizing that we realistically have less than a month until this kid comes is finally dawning on him. Wish us luck! lol.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year and New Fear

I'm still trying to grasp the fact that Hubbs and I will be parents sometime in the next 2 months. It's frightening and exciting and still a completely alien concept. Our lives are about to change in such a dramatic way, that I can't really comprehend the enormity of the situation.

Of course I still have the common pregnancy and parenting fears, perhaps more so because this pregnancy was so unexpected. Now with the increasing pregnancy complications, it does seem like some of them are very real fears indeed. Mostly having this kid in January instead of February.

A part of me still worries that we won't get a baby out of this at all. I'm 32.5-ish weeks now and I know in theory she could be born now and have a bit of NICU time and be ok. I'm also aware of the albeit highly unlikely possibility of a cord accident, or something going wrong with delivery and either one or both of us not making it.

Those fears I try not to dwell on, the ones I have no control over. Putting those in the back of my mind brings forth the other fears. The "how in the heck am I supposed to know how to be a mother" fears. I occasionally worry about not knowing what to do, not loving her enough, loving her too much. What if she turns out to be a little jerk and is stubborn and completely rambunctious and uncontrollable? This is mostly a fear because one of our nephews is totally a reckless little terror.

The first little bit is easy. Feed her, let her sleep, bathe her, watch her grow. It's the part after those precious first months that scare me. Hubbs has taken care of a very young child before, so he'll show me the ropes, both of us though are at a complete loss as to "how to parent". I'm hoping it is something that comes kind of naturally. We've seen the way Hubbs' siblings parent, one of them has a style we like a lot and her kids are extremely well behaved and polite. We've definitely decided to avoid the parenting tactics that lead to our two youngest nephews completely controlling their parents' lives. We've observed and will adapt some of their strategies as our own, and hopefully we come up with a strategy that works for our family.

A part of me is also worried that instead of popping out a girl, this will, in fact, be a boy. I know the chances are slim, especially given how many ultrasounds I've had, but the techs have never been completely sure. Little Ducky tends to not want to cooperate when it comes to those things. Luckily, we finally decided on a boy name just in case.

I'm excited for 2014. I know it brings about the end of our lives as we knew them, but it brings with it a completely new world of possibilities and wonder that can only make our lives better. Bring it on, new year, bring it on.