Thursday, May 16, 2013

Aunt Again

Apparently, there is going to be a new tiny human in the world that will grow up to call me "Aunt". This new addition will bring my niece/nephew total to 8.

Normally, this would be exciting... but the situation in which this tiny human will be born into, is not that spectacular. My brother in-law and his wife married very young, both under 20. They eloped to Vegas in the midst of planning a real wedding. Within the first year, she was pregnant. He joined the Marines and he was gone for basic training for most of the pregnancy, and was deployed shortly after my nephew was born.

She decided it would be a great idea to join the Air Force Reserves... we all thought, who the hell is gonna take care of their baby whilst they are both gone?! The answer to that was "grandpa". My little nephew, just under a year old, was shuttled off to grandma and grandpa's and was raised by them for the duration of basic training. It was evident that my nephew had very little structure in his raising and as a result, developed quite a set of screaming lungs. Eventually she finished and mother and son were reunited. Dad was still in Afghanistan.

When my brother in-law finished his tour, everything seemed ok. He was doing alright re-adjusting to life in the states. Then one of his buddies committed suicide. From there, my brother in-law kind of spiraled out of control. He started having flashbacks and developed nervous ticks. He's suffering from PTSD and while he is now getting treatment, it's looking like the ticks are going to be with him for the rest of his life. He was just discharged from the Marines.

Sometimes, he can't control his emotions and has to take extreme measures to stop himself from taking it out on his son, or his wife. Now here she is, pregnant yet again. What kind of family life is this new little addition coming in to? Should they have taken precautions against it. Birth control for the win. I just don't know. I fear for my new niece/nephew, heck, I fear for the kid they already have, but what can I do? They live 2,000 miles away and I can't help, I can't offer to babysit or help around the house. I can't make my brother in-law magically better.

I made a joke to Hubbs about how we really need to think about this new baby, because when DCFS eventually gets called, it's gonna be down to the two childless married couples to foster the kids. Luckily, Hubbs' sister lives much closer to them and is far more wealthy, so she's the obvious choice. If it came down to it though, it would have to be us. I was mostly joking... but I think it is an actual possibility.

I'm not saying they're terrible parents, because they're not, and they try the best they can. They are young and financially unstable, and at the moment, emotionally unstable as well. I just wish I knew what to do to help them. Any suggestions?

She wound up miscarrying very early on, or only thought she was pregnant but wasn't. One of the two. Either way, even though it's horrible to say, it's definitely a good thing it turned out to be a false alarm. 

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