Friday, July 3, 2015

Family Time

It was nice to spend some time together as a family on a weekday. Ducky spiked a fever last night, which had gone down, but came back in full force later in the day. Poor little girl was miserable. The on-call nurse just said to keep an eye on her and make sure she's hydrated and to call back if it gets to 105. That seems excessively high to me. If it doesn't go away in a few days we're supposed to make an appointment for her.

I had a little movie date with myself, something I like to do on occasion. I saw Tomorrowland, which is basically a prequel to Wall-e if you think about it. It was entertaining, but seeing it once is definitely enough.

I feel like tomorrow is going to be a weird day. One, being surrounded by extended family is always very taxing for me. I don't know if it's my anxiety or that I dislike being around strangers. I consider people I've only met once pretty much strangers. If I had my way I'd just sit in the corner and observe every family function I attend, but people insist on talking to me. Plus it's hard to wrangle my increasingly independent toddler. Two, tomorrow was Lumpy's due date. It's weird thinking that he was born almost two months ago. It will also be the first large family function since he died. I dread people asking about him and at the same time, I dread them pretending he didn't exist.

The 4th of July and fireworks are a fond memory for me. I spent the summers of my formative years at a sleep-away camp. Every Independence Day they'd sit us all on the beach on the lake and put on an impressive fireworks show from the other side of the lake. We'd shout Oooooh, Ahhhhh, Ohhhhh as a group, timed with the colorful bursts in the sky.

Hubbs mentioned today that fireworks are always awesome as you're a kid, but when you're an adult, if you've seen one fireworks show, you've seen them all. He said that as a parent, they hold a new special meaning as he gets to watch Ducky experience them for the first time and appreciate the sense of wonder and awe that she'll have. It's kind of cliche, but I definitely think it's true that when you're a parent, you see the world in an entirely different light. You witness how wonderful it is for your child when they experience everything for the first time or when they learn something new.


  1. From one NaBloPoMo blogger to another. I just wanted to say how beautifully written your posts are, and that I am so so sorry for the loss of your little boy. You are an amazingly brave mum. x

    1. Thank you for your kind words. Some days I try, some days I am incredibly lazy about posting, I think all bloggers feel that way at some point. I'll try to find your blog and check it out.