Monday, February 15, 2016


Today was a tiring day. The whole long weekend really was exhausting. I was hoping to squeeze in some work when I had time, but Ducky decided to become a full-blown toddler. If I try to see it from her perspective, I think I can understand why she was so frustrated with everything. Nothing quite went her way, I wouldn't let her sit and pretend to go potty for as long as she wanted, wouldn't let her play with dangerous things, and spent very little time with her all week. She got up several times in the night wanting cuddles, kisses, and hugs. She threw many tantrums for no discernible reasons. There were plenty of times where I silently questioned why anyone would be crazy enough to go through this stage more than once. You really do start longing for the simpler times when all you had to do was hold them, feed them, and let them sleep. It seriously made me question my desire to have another child.

My promotion officially started on Friday. I moved in to my office and have a few of my very own files. I'm nervous, feel a little overwhelmed, but I hope that overall it will be a good thing. I still find myself questioning why I stay at this job when I hate so many aspects of it. I've applied for other positions, but nothing is panning out. The problem is that I'm really not sure what I want to do, I have many ideas, but I know it isn't this. I stay because the money is decent and Hubbs and I are so close to buying our new house. After we close, that's another matter all together, but for now, I stay. I will definitely have to put a limit on my hours though. Working so much overtime the last week was very hard on Ducky and I am saddened that I spent so much of what little time we have before she goes to bed away from her.

Hubbs enjoys his job and is looking forward to advancement opportunities. Apparently they work on a first in, first up system, so there are a few more people in line for a promotion before him. He still keeps one eye on his old workplace just in case a new position opens up there, but for now, he enjoys his significantly larger paychecks.

I'm feeling optimistic about the future, which I think is something I'd been lacking lately. It's starting to get warmer and it looks like the harsh winter might be coming to an end. I feel like for the most part, when it's cold and dreary, I just want to stay home and curl up all day. It's hard to find the motivation to go out and do anything really. I kind of just zombie my way through the days, going through the motions. Perhaps that's why I want to live somewhere with less severe seasons and more consistent weather year-round.

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