Sunday, October 2, 2011

Forget Babies.

eff it. i'm tired of peeing in a little plastic cup every morning. i'm sick of waiting to find out if i'm ever actually gonna get my LH surge or whatever. I'm down to like, 6 of those stupid little sticks. and really don't want to pee on any more.
Maybe my apartment complex will stop being stupid and let me get my service dog. Hubbs is super excited. I've shown him a picture of the one we're getting. We're picking out names and everything. lol. I'll just settle for having my doggie and fawning over my nieces and nephews. Including the new little 10-week peanut or however big it is that's on the way. We'll turn into one of those couples who don't have kids and spoil their pets rotten.
In the long run it'll save us a lot of money. Perhaps that is for the best. It's looking like i'd have to go on clomid anyway. Stupid eggs, why don't you want to pop off your stupid follicles or however it works?
I don't know how people do this for years and years. I just want to give up. Giving up sounds good. Kids are overrated anyway. They cry all of the time, and when they're not crying they're pooping. I've only been at this for like, 2 months.
Oh, and to top everything off, i tried to apply for unemployment benefits today and apparently someone has stolen my identity and is using to work in another state. Good times. I can't fix any of it until tomorrow. Dislike. Strongly dislike. Just one more obnoxious thing to add to the stress pile. No job, no money, no babies, no service dog, no anything to take my mind off of the stress and that horrible feeling of failure. I am thankful for Hubbs however. He made me laugh my ass off for like, 20 mins straight last night. His support has been incredible. I kinda feel guilty though that he has to keep trying so hard to help me de-stress. He has a job interview tomorrow. If he gets this job, i'll just be by myself in the apartment for most of the day, left alone to my thoughts and stress. This is why my service dog is so immediately necessary. Really hoping i hear back from those universities and government agencies soon.
Everyone has trials. that's what everyone keeps telling me. When it's right, it'll happen and blah blah. EFF YOU! how about it's the right time for me to punch you in your stupid face? ok, now i feel a little bit better. lol.

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