Saturday, January 9, 2016

No Promotion?

In continuing the trend of not talking to me about important decisions that directly impact my career. The promotion that I was finally offered after over 2 years of promises, was offered to one of my good friends in the office. I mentioned to management, when I was forced to announce my pregnancy earlier than I wanted to, that now would not be the best time, because by the time I was comfortable in the job, they would need someone to cover for me on maternity leave. This apparently translated into, "No, I do not want the job".
I am so confused right now and have no idea what to do. I know a lot of the comments that were made were in my best interests and looking out for my well-being. Obviously, I have had issues with blood pressure in the past, and my bosses are aware of that. They are aware of how sensitive this pregnancy is, not only because it's so soon after my c-section, but also after the loss of my son. I will likely be considered high-risk this time around as well, which will lead to more than average doctors appointments. I know they are looking out for me and don't want to cause me any extra, unnecessary stress... but I'm still feeling rather insulted.
My friend isn't sure if she's going to take the job, they gave her until Monday to decide, so we'll see. I am thinking though that if she refuses the job, I will also decline it. The way our workload is right now, we really don't need 3 of that job title, the company would do just fine with 2. I'm even debating about dropping one of my classes and just taking one this semester. Partially because additional stress is bad, and partly because I know we're going to need that extra money for doctors visits.
Oh how I wish I could go back 2 months and not choose the high deductible plan when enrolling in our new health insurance plan. What was I thinking?! The good news is, if we continue to work hard, and focus on saving our extra money, we will have a hefty baby-fund saved up for when we need it.

In other news, Hubbs and I got in to one of our rare fights tonight. He was pissy because I had a moment of weakness with our diet. I don't want to blame the pregnancy, but when you have a craving for something it's really hard to resist it. Really fricking hard. I ate one slice of pizza at Costco and suddenly it's the end of the world. Technically, yes, I have a bit of a problem with food, and I was relying on him to police me about it. I just find it hard to stick to specific foods when I'm pregnant. Maybe some of it is apathy or laziness or something else, but I just want to shovel comfort food in my face. Everything is stressful right now, my forward momentum at work has come to a screeching halt, I'm jumping back in to school for the first time in years, I'm growing a human and haven't had my first OB visit yet to know that everything is going fine. This pregnancy feels completely different than the last 2 and it's worrying. Generally, the rule is, if there's no bleeding or severe cramping, everything should be fine. There's always that little worry in the back of your mind that's hard to shake.

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