Ugh.

So yet another friend is pregnant. That brings the current total up to like 42? Good heavens that's a lot of people. I'm not sure how many there are total but it feels like so many. Feels like literally everyone is getting preggers. pregnant people everywhere. It shouldn't be "Christmas is all around" it should be "Preggers are all around"

Still eagerly awaiting the results of the ultrasound. My cycle is due to start next week. Really hoping it is actually on time this time. Tends to kind of delay itself and trick me into thinking that i may, possibly, remotely could be pregnant. So i'll take a test, and wouldn't you know it, the very next day, it shows up rearing it's stupid ugly head.

I am trying to be hopeful, trying to be positive, trying very much so. Goodness it is hard though.

I have been cranky lately. Very cranky. I'll chalk it up to PMS or something. Hubbs feels like i'm taking it out on him. Maybe I am. I just feel like i'm doing everything. Going back to school, actually registering for classes, filling out all of the paperwork, working, getting all of the tests done... and what does he do? He sits at home playing video games all day, oh wait, j/k he sleeps till like, 3pm and then plays video games all night, finally coming to bed around 6am. Do i even have a right to be mad about that? I feel like i can't really talk to him about it because then he gets all depressed and thinks he's not being a good husband. He is a good husband, but sometimes i wish he'd do more around the house or actually do the things he says he's going to. And not forget because he's too busy playing his precious video games. Don't get me wrong, I love video games too... It's how we got together in the first place. I feel like he's just playing way too much. Waaaaaaay too much. I dunno. Sometimes it just makes me feel really lonely even though technically we spend most of the day in the same room. He'll either be sleeping on the couch while i'm on my computer, or we'll both be on our separate computers ignoring each other. I try to go out and give him alone time so he'll spend time with me when i'm actually home, but he just winds up sleeping through the whole time i'm gone. How do i fix this? Is this something i should even think about fixing?

Sorry that was a bit off topic... but this is the blog that no one i know knows i have. The place where i can vent everything. And while technically this is a blog about our struggles through infertility, our relationship is rather a big part of that.