I forced myself to go back to work yesterday. I sat in the car after dropping Ducky off at daycare debating about it. I procrastinated by going to the gas station to pick up a soda and sat in the car some more. I stared at the pebble/rock landscaping on the freeway off-ramp and debated the pros and cons of going. It took me a few more minutes, but I mustered the courage and went to work. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Volume is low and I'm going some refresher training to go back to my old job title and duties which I will start up again next week.
Management kind of called into question my reliability and really wanted me to be sure I was ready. I'm not sure I'll ever actually be ready. The job doesn't hold the same enjoyment that it used to, but it's something to keep me busy, keep my mind off things, and keep those benjamins rolling into my bank account.
Tomorrow I'm getting surgery on my elbow. It's technically a "subcutaneous transposition of the ulnar nerve", which sounds fun. Hopefully this means my cubital tunnel syndrome will be resolved and my pinky and ring fingers will no longer go numb and tingly. I do have to get both elbows done, but the Dr decided to do the left one first since it is the worse of the two. So wish me luck with that.