Jump Back in Time

Well last night we jumped back in time! Watching my Bat Mitzvah tape was delightful. I had forgotten the significance of it all and it was so nice to see some of my family members that are no longer with us. It was also super weird seeing my parents so young and with so much hair. It was nice to see young, skinnier me as well. Before PCOS and insulin resistance and all of these other things turned me into a fatty. I should have wondered if something was up when despite playing sports for hours and hours every day I never managed to lose any weight.

The Hubbs and I have been having fun toying around with potential names for our future children. It's awesome. We have one boy and one girl name that we're rather settled on. The girl one is definitely unique, but we like the nickname we're gonna make out of it. This is all of course assuming we have any children. I'm glad I've gotten to the point where I can joke about it. Back before all of this, I thought I wanted six kids. We were talking about it last night with Hubbs' sister and her husband. I managed to make a joke of it and give Hubbs a high five while saying we'd be lucky to have just one. I do feel though like as a months go by, I am getting so much better at coping with everything. I'm so happy that I'm not constantly sad anymore. I don't even feel broken. I feel hopeful and that hope makes me so incredibly happy.

My seminar is on the 12th. Not really terribly excited. I assume I'll just learn a bunch of things that I already know and come away thinking it was a waste of a 30min drive, but kind of worth it for the consultation discount. Assuming we even go to the consultation. I've told Hubbs to think about it. He had apparently forgotten. I'm sure I can scrounge up the money somewhere and just go on my own. I would at least like to know what the next treatment options are. Hubbs isn't too concerned with any time factors. But I'll be 30 soon, and then it's a hop, skip, and a jump to 35 and the odds are increasingly not in your favor at that point.