I don't know what it is, but for the last three days I have just been so wiped out. I slept for almost 12 hours today, and I feel like I could totally just crawl right back in bed and sleep till tomorrow.
I didn't go to the fertility seminar like I was supposed to. I feel like at this point, it would be unfair of me to try to host a human in my body the way it is now. I need to focus on getting in shape and getting well before we try.
School doesn't start for me until August. Sure I have a B.A. but now I'm going back for an A.A.S because I am so tired of applying for jobs that I know will bring me absolutely no joy. Working part time at a fast food place is pretty much all I've been able to get in the last few months. I want a career. I want to be excited to go to work every day. I also want to feel an awesome sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Have something real to show for my work.
So I have the whole summer. I have the next two months to try very hard to whip myself into shape, mentally and physically. Then I'll throw myself into school, do my very best. Hopefully in a year and a half, snag a decent job. This is my plan. I am determined.
I'll start by baking Hubbs that banana bread I promised him days ago. Then I'll do a workout video and I will be proud of myself for these small accomplishments and for reaching my goal. I'll continue to make tiny goals every day. With each one, I will feel a sense of satisfaction and look forward to completing the next one. Until one day, I realize that I've accomplished one of my big goals by taking baby steps. Yay me.