Bluest of the Blues

Today I just feel like I have the blues. Our apartment is a complete mess and I just don't feel like doing anything.

I would like to curl into a ball, hide under the blankets, and shut out the world.

Hubbs and I had a date night tonight, but as we were leaving, he just pissed me off, so I was in a grumpy mood the whole time we were there. Now that we're home and he wants to hang out, I'm like um... no thanks.

Over dinner we talked a little bit about the things that are bugging me, the uncertainty of my career future, and where we'll move to. My annoyance at the fact that nothing in our apartment ever seems clean and how even when we make it clean it's dirty and cluttered a day later. He's going to try to be more helpful with the cleaning of the things. I suppose that's really all I can ask for at this point.

I've gotten to the point where I'm annoyed at the way he chews his sandwiches because he chews them exactly the same way his mother chews and I find it intolerable.  Adults should be able to chew with their mouths closed.

What is the matter with me?! I do love Hubbs very much, but lately I've just been getting annoyed at every little thing. He has shining moments, like when he tries to make me smile, but other times I just want him to get away from me. What do I do? I know he's not the one that's changed, it's definitely me... I don't know, maybe my depression is rearing its ugly head again.

I think at this point the best thing to do would just be to take a step back, calm down, take a deep breath, relax. Focus on the good things and hope for the best. Tomorrow is another day. I'll look at the new day with fresh eyes and an open heart.