Yesterday was totally a terrible day. Hubbs woke up crying because for some reason he's freaking out about the possibility of our dog dying. I'm sure it's other things that he's subconsciously worried or afraid of manifesting itself in this way, but holy crap. He had another sob fit in the early evening and then another just before he finally fell asleep. Maybe it's just his depression acting up, or maybe it's SAD? I have no idea but it's kind of freaking me out. I tried to soothe him and calm him as much as I could. Eventually, I got him laughing, which is finally what helped him to fall asleep. It was definitely bizarre.
I had my final job interview today, and I wish I could say it would have been my final job interview ever, but alas, no. I didn't get the job that would get us out of debt and prevent us from moving. I'm not really that sad about it, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I still have my interview for my dream job coming up either at the end of February or the beginning of March, so I have that to look forward to.
I've applied for several more jobs and still have other applications in the works. I still think we might be getting to the point where Hubbs will have to get a night job or something, even if it's just part time to help out. I really need all of our W2's to get here so we can actually file our taxes. I know we probably won't get that much as a return, but it might just be enough to keep us afloat for another month beyond the savings we have at the moment.
This timing really isn't great. I went to the doctor yesterday and I officially have to start doing something about my diet and the fact that I never exercise. I'm starting on the pill to try to regulate my cycles and stuff, but the doctor was very kind while explaining that the absolute best thing I can do is to start eating right and working out. Pretty much the plan at this point is to eat all of the "bad food" we have left in the house, because we can't throw it away, because we're too poor. Then the next time we have to go shopping, we can plan for buying more healthy things.
I've been researching (I'm not gonna call them diets, let's go with "food rules") and the one that I think might work best for me is following vegetarian food rules with limited carbs for 6 days of the week, and allowing myself one day to eat whatever the heck I want (within reason). Or maybe I'll refer to my old Weight Watchers manuals and use those to help calculate points whilst following the new rules. At this point, I figure we have about a week's worth of "bad" food and after we're done with that, the new regime takes over.
I want to start working out, but yesterday, I slipped and fell on the super icy pathway down to the parking lot and hurt my ankle and my shoulder on my right side. I'm thinking maybe some sort of chair yoga or something for the first week? I really don't think walking on the treadmill or even the elliptical would work out too well at the moment. Eh, maybe it will. Maybe I'm just making excuses and being lazy.
I remember the last time I started working out after years of being sedentary, it took me about a week to get in the groove of things. I still have my bodybugg sitting around somewhere, I guess it's time to bust it out of retirement. I'm going to try to remember though to stay focused that it's not about what I weigh, it's going to be about how my clothes fit and how I feel. It would be nice not to have to wear maternity pants all the time because they're so much more comfortable than regular pants.
I know I've said it several times before, but today really is the day that I am making the conscious effort to change. I have to, or this whole baby thing will never happen for us. Whenever I feel down, or discouraged, I'm going to refer back to what this nice doctor said "Do it for the baby" and hopefully that will be enough to keep me motivated through this journey.