Thursday, January 17, 2013

Teenagers... WTF?

I subbed at a high school today. I'll admit, when I was in high school, I was a jerk who thought the world revolved around me too. I might have even been rude to a sub on occasion. Holy crap though, kids today are RIDICULOUS. Consider this my open letter to teenagers everywhere.


You don't need your cell phone on and with you every second of every day. One, you're not that important. I know you think you are, because your parents instill in you that you're their precious little snowflake and are the most important person in the world. Sure, to them you are. To everyone else, you are NOBODY. Get over yourself.

You're in school for a reason. Mostly, so you can practice for real life and/or college. No, you can't have your headphones in blasting Skrillex or whatever you want in class. You definitely can't do it at your future job at McDonald's. You will live if you don't have your music in your ear for the very short school day, I promise. 

I have one job when I'm in charge of your class... maybe two. One, make sure you don't gravely injure yourself on my watch, and two, make sure you do the assignment your teacher left for you. Listen, I don't care about your assignment, you sure as heck don't care about it, but you know what? your teacher does and he/she is the one who has to put up with you for the rest of the year, so try not to piss her/him off.




Now parents, don't think I'm putting all of the blame here on your precious little angels. Let me tell you something... your kid is a dick. For serious. Sure he/she may not talk back to you and you might think your little snowflake is a model citizen when away from your prying eyes. No, this is a lie. Your kid spends well over half of the class time trying to figure out how to hide from their teacher that they are texting in their lap. Your kid will talk back, argue with the teacher, refuse to do their work and you wonder why your kid brings home C's? Not to mention the fact that your kid talks about getting drunk/high/laid/whatever openly in the hallways with their friends and you have no idea. Do you know who's at fault? YOU ARE. Your kid is a dick because of YOU. You need to step up, be the parent, and teach your kid how to act like a proper human being.


I will concede that there are several youths today who's parents are doing a fantastic job. Obviously, these awesome kids will grow up to be productive members of society, but sadly, the majority of kids today are not.

These kids are the future of our country, the future of our planet... and you know what, that scares the crap out of me. We need to teach children to be better than us, because if we don't, Earth is pretty much f*cked.

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